Letters to the Editor
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Keep on keeping on
What Other Guy says to you should remain between the two of you. What his wife says to you should remain between you and her. Both have confided in you and all you can do is honour their trust. If Other Guy one day finds out that his wife has confided in you, your answer should be that you honoured her request that you say nothing, just as you have honoured Other Guy's request. And you don't tell either one what the other one said.
You aren't betraying anyone. You are equally honouring two people who consider you a good friend. Your thoughts about Other Guy are just that - your thoughts. We all have thoughts about other people, and its not surprising considering the time you spend together at work. Your thoughts are not a betrayal of anyone either.
Its a tough situation to be in but you sound like you're handling it as well as you possibly could.