Letters to the Editor
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Wow Cary, you really are so unsophisticated
. . . maybe she watches the TV, watches Obama and thinks, maybe, just maybe, something will go right in her lifetime.
Good god, man. Maybe she likes Clinton? At any rate, all y'all are taking the white guilt a little far here. Yes, the oleander bullshit sucks. My advice is help the neighbor get rid of oleander if they want the help. But maybe they welcome the shelter. Don't romanticize this: the white rescuer coming to help the downtrodden black woman and her sick son. That's just embarrassing for you (and them).
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1. The best revenge is a life well-lived. Trust me, the woman who planted the oleanders is miserable.
2. Let it go completely. Don't even talk to your husband about it. Smile and wave when you see her. The more that woman thinks she can get away with things like what she did, the more audacious she's going to get. Her level of nastiness will stay consistent, but her level of cunning will be directly proportional to how much resistance she thinks she'll encounter. I notice she already assumes she has your support. If she gets self-righteous enough, starts to get high on being the voice of reason and being in charge of the neighborhood, she'll end up doing something to get herself hauled away in handcuffs.
(And I second the "put a couch in your front yard" suggestion. Less to show solidarity, and more because it's Great.)
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Argghhh
Getting more angry every time I re-read the LW's letter. Thoughts of serious revenge swirling in brain. Perhaps expanding on AmyAmyAmy's suggestion by writing Free Plants in very concentrated fertilizer on NIMBY's lawn. Followed by her phone number.
OK, dammit, maybe not : (
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Seriously, Where is Yesterday's Post?
I thought it was one of the more interesting recent letters and responses and I wasn't done reading the comments.
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They're more than poisonous: without watering, oleanders can damage sewer lines and foundations
Under dry conditions, oleander roots can be invasive, growing into thick mats that can weaken structures if they're not managed properly. This means that unless the LW's area gets plenty of rainfall, the elderly neighbor must now pay for additional water to keep the uninvited hedge from damaging her property. The NIMBY's actions seem to show an astonishing lack of respect for the old woman's autonomy. Perhaps she would have liked to choose the type of plant that went into her yard?
"Letting it go" is, in part, how we've come to the state of community disengagement that Cary laments in his response. It takes time to get to know people when race and class divide, but living in a similar neighborhood, I've learned it's not impossible by any means. It doesn't happen over the fence, or by saying hello on your way in and out of your house. Invite the old woman and her son over for dinner, for pete's sake! How hard can that be? Make it simple and welcoming and focus on getting to know her. She comes from a generation where that's what neighbors did. They talked about the weather, or their families, or their yards. Don't miss this opportunity, LW. She'll be gone soon enough.
And I'd show the NIMBY your letter to Cary. Seeing herself in print might shock her into a bit more awareness.
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re: yesterday's post
I liked it, too. (So funny.) After it was taken down, there was a note on the swimming pool entry that said something about the letter being printed without permission of the LW.
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A Dangerous Intrusion
Hello Folks,
Not only is this a questionable intrusion, oleander is quite poisonous. My concern is for children in the neighborhood.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oleander
Stoney
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Yesterday's letter
From March 25th letter:
Editor's note: Due to an editing error, Cary Tennis' Since You Asked column from March 26 contained a letter from a reader who had not authorized it to be published. The column has been removed from the site. Salon regrets the error.
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Ugh...
Dollars to donuts Ms. NIMBY got those plants because they were off-season cheap at Lowe's or something. :P LW should defintely clue the elderly neighbor in as to the poisonous nature of the plants, because it would be just the latter's lousy luck some neighborhood kid or pet might accidentally ingest oleander leaves and get sick.
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Pot, Kettle
How different is LW from Oleander Lady?
Neither can leave the old lady and her son alone; the only difference is that LW wants to interfere "politely", but Oleander Lady has no such graces.
Both of them should stop trying to interfere, and instead pay their neighbors the respect they deserve.
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Service Project/ Eagle Scout Project
I've been the caretaker of three elderly family members, so I balk at the idea of taking a paternalistic attitude towards the neighbor, however, I'm not above a little well-meant subterfuge. It is quite clear that the LW's neighbor is a very proud woman who is not capable of keeping her property in the manner she would like. She might enjoy helping a nice boy get his Eagle Scout badge or help some high school students fulfill some service hours by clearing up her property. Perhaps the LW could track down some of these folks and explain the situation, and then approach the neighbor herself. The neighbor would not be receiving charity - she would be helping a young person. Once her property was under control, regular maintenance would not be a huge burden. The LW sounds like a nice neighbor - perhaps she or her husband would volunteer to mow?
About the overbearing neighbor who planted the oleander - I agree with Cary. The LW should plant some as well - both out of solidarity and to block out the view of the offending neighbor's house.
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Maybe some good can come from Ritzy Neighbor's sour actions
Ritzy Neighbor clearly trespassed and committed vandalism. The fact that oleanders are highly toxic might add further criminal charges. Once criminal charges have been filed, Ritzy could also be sued in Small Claims Court to force her to remove the bushes and repair the damage to the yard.
Of course, it's possible that the house-bound old lady will appreciate that the bushes will shield her from having to look at Ritzy. Clearly Ritzy is a Pro-War Republican, and nobody should have their day spoiled by having to see one of them.
And,Cary, regarding your admiration of Ritzy Neighbor, do you also admire GWB and Cheney for their "brazen" actions against Iraq, et al?
A person (Ritzy) who looks at their neighbor and sees not a person, but a yard, is to be pitied, not admired. Perhaps a neighborhood prayer vigil for her withered soul?
