Letters to the Editor
-
People are strange
I hope you can let it go. It isn't your battle and although it was an odd thing to do, they are just plants. Maybe the lady next door doesn't need a hero to rescue her or maybe you dislike the obnoxious gardener. I'd be psyched if someone would have planted in my yard, so I didn't have to do it... but that's just me.
Sleep well. Have a glass of wine. Breathe. Give your neighbor a hug and practice your own less invasive acts of kindness. Don't freak about plants.
-
Disagree with Cary
Ask the son when he comes back if he wants you to help him replant. If he says yes, help. If he says no, let it go.
Never admire the obnoxious snob across the street who trespassed. Plant your own psycholgical oleanders across her front yard.
-
Lady, it's worse than you think
From Wiki:
Oleander is one of the most poisonous plants and contains numerous toxic compounds, many of which can be deadly to people, especially young children. The toxicity of Oleander is considered extremely high and it has been reported that in some cases only a small amount had lethal or near lethal effects
This was a hostile act. Rip those suckers up and dare her to do anything about it.
-
Not In My Back (Front?) Yard
I understand the LW's desire to uproot or move the new shrubbery, not to mention call the police. Her desire to come to the defense of her neighbour is honourable. Unfortunately, I suspect that any intervention from the LW might only further victimize her elderly neighbour - who sounds, from the LW's account, like a proud woman who values her privacy. No question that the NIMBY across the road has committed a truly offensive and unforgiveable act. Rather than offer assistance of any kind she's all about her own property and, presumably, the view from her doorstep.
In a perfect world the LW would, under cover of darkness and preferably while the NIMBY was away on vacation, not only remove the oleanders, but plant a long row of something across the front of the NIMBY's house. Poison ivy, perhaps. However.......cooler heads.
If I were the LW I'd drop a brief note in her neighbour's mailbox, mentioning what the NIMBY had her gardener do, and offering to help in uprooting and/or moving the oleander if the neighbour so desires. If the neighbour doesn't respond to the note the LW has no choice but to respect that. The LW won't be ratting the NIMBY out as it doesn't appear she's tried to hide what she's done. I might also have a quiet word with the gardener - its very possible he was under the impression the NIMBY had obtained planting permission. Hopefully that conversation would get back to the NIMBY and would make clear the LW's thoughts on the subject.
-
Forget psychological oleanders...
...plant a line of real ones in her front yard next time she goes on vacation. Hell, do it while she's drinking her morning coffee in her breakfast nook. And when she comes out and asks what you're doing, tell her you don't want to look at her house anymore, that her intolerance and elitist attitude are bringing down your property value.
You should be outraged. And yes, at some point you should let it go. But if everyone "lets it go" everytime something outrageously offensive happens, everyone had better learn not to complain when the offenses continue. Bravo to you for caring about your neighbors in a world that too often looks the other way.
-
Don't Let It Go
I don't understand this letting go everybody always talks about. Somebody upset you? Let it go. Somebody offends you (or your neighbor)? Let it go. Feeling angry? Let it go. Everything but warm, mushy feelings... let it go.
LW, don't let it go. Next time you see her, tell the oleander-spreading neighbor that you just have to say that you find what she's done appalling and tell her why. Tell her oleander is poisonous. Tell her that you're going to talk with the other neighbor's son about all this and tell her how you plan to help him and his mother if he so wishes. Stand up. Tell her. You'll feel better and you'll put her in her place. People need to hear "no." People like her especially. Maybe you'll get an earful back. So have a lot of others who've done the right thing.
-
Mysterious oleander planting
I think that Cary may have not quite hit this one squarely, but I do agree that you're better off to cool it a little.
You might be able to help your neighbor by dropping off a meal once in a while, or offering to "straighten up", not clean, her kitchen. If she's become frail she may have other tasks that are now more than she can manage. Ask.
Offer to check with your local Office for the Aging to see what she may qualify for, help with cooking or cleaning, or going to run errands, or checking in with her doctor. Does she keep up with her prescriptions, does she have Medicare D?
Then you could gently bring the topics up in a conversation when you might ask if you could give her a hand. Tell her that you respect her feelings for privacy, but that you want her to be safe in her own home. Tell her that you miss your own mother, if you do.
And bless you for checking on her; she may have outlived her own family.
-
A Novel Idea...
Here's just a thought: why not ASK your neighbors if, since those plants were dropped on their property for free, they would mind parting with them, or even just some of them? It might be nice to put such a stretched-thin family in the position of being generous to YOU for a change. You could thin out the herd of oleanders by half or whole, and plant the darlings somewhere where their shade will do some good, for you or your neighbor.
This would be an especially delightful approach since your awful across the street neighbor obviously resents the money she spent on them. Wouldn't it be fun to let her realize that by planting them on someone else's property, she's given them away for free, and now your neighbors are at liberty to give them away to others? :-)