Letters to the Editor
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What's the Actual Problem?
LW is apparently miffed that Nasty Neighbor (NN) has tread (LW assumes) on Elderly Non-White (ugh!) Neighbor (ENWN)'s toes. Meanwhile, ENWN has pretty much rejected all "help" offered - except tree-trimming of a tree reaching into LW's yard, presumably because (1) ENWN is ruggedly independent (y'know, stereotypically American, ethnic or not), or (2) the offers of "help" are offensive or overreaching.
LW: whose ox is being gored here? Does ENWN want your help (doesn't look like it on the information presented)? Invite ENWN over for cookies and tea, on the porch, and just plain old ask her. Not just "Is NN bothering you?", but "Am I bothering you?" You might try the old chestnut: "I'm thinking of my [mother/grandmother/neighbor-lady from my childhood] and I want to be a good neighbor to you. I don't want to overreach or offend." Then tread very, very carefully.
By all means, pick fights with NN -- I'm sure she lives for that stuff. Start by painting your house turquoise and definitely invest in garden gnomes. Do car repairs slowly, by hand, in the front yard. Not really though. There's enough trouble in this world, don't borrow any.
Maybe the best thing you can do for ENWN is to invite her over for tea and cookies (or a backyard cookout or whatever works) and include her in your circle. Befriend the ill son. If you don't try to run their lives, these two might actually let you in a bit.
But if ENWN doesn't have a problem with NN, don't make sure she has one. Sometimes stirring the pot is just stirring the pot. And yeah, you need a couch on your porch. Everyone does. They've got 'em for free on Freecycle, so go grab one.