Letters to the Editor
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Mysterious oleander planting
I think that Cary may have not quite hit this one squarely, but I do agree that you're better off to cool it a little.
You might be able to help your neighbor by dropping off a meal once in a while, or offering to "straighten up", not clean, her kitchen. If she's become frail she may have other tasks that are now more than she can manage. Ask.
Offer to check with your local Office for the Aging to see what she may qualify for, help with cooking or cleaning, or going to run errands, or checking in with her doctor. Does she keep up with her prescriptions, does she have Medicare D?
Then you could gently bring the topics up in a conversation when you might ask if you could give her a hand. Tell her that you respect her feelings for privacy, but that you want her to be safe in her own home. Tell her that you miss your own mother, if you do.
And bless you for checking on her; she may have outlived her own family.