Letters to the Editor
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@ know1uknow
I don't know what DurianJoe means by self-directed racism.
I thought your answer rocked.
The only thing I have to add to this conversation, and someone may have already covered it in the numerous previous letters and I missed it, was regarding the elderly in general. I have a 95 year old grandmother, so my observations are based on her. In this society, the elderly lose influence and control. As physical and sometimes mental abilities decline, they are forced to rely more and more on other people. My grandmother, a very independent woman, hates this. She hates that she cannot drive a car, do the work in her yard she once did, go and get her own groceries, etc, etc.
Based on this, my only suggestion to the LW would be: If you offer to help your neighbor, let her be in control of the situation. Let her tell you what she wants. LISTEN TO HER. If she wants you to butt out, you should butt out and consider that you are giving her the gift of being able to control one thing in her world, by virtue of your doing what she asked.
If you cannot resist, you can leave the door open and say, Should you ever change your mind, just please let me know. That way the ball, the control, is in her court.