Letters to the Editor
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Call a block meeting
Cary has poetically and truthfully summed up what the oleanders stand for: lack of caring, lack of community, lack of willingness to face facts about the less fortunate among us.
So do something constructive to get at the root of the problem (sorry). Convene a block meeting at your house. The obnoxious planter lady won't come, and your neighbor probably won't either, so you can speak frankly about the problem.
Set a good tone for the meeting. Serve refreshments. Circulate a page for a block roster signup, so people can share emergency numbers with each other if they wish. (I did this on my block and it was a wonderful icebreaker that also served a purpose.)
Then, in a positive way, raise the issue: some of our neighbors are less fortunate than others, and it would be great if we could put our heads together to figure out ways to help. Explain that your neighbor is a wonderful soul who has a ton of pride but would probably appreciate assistance too. Let others share their ideas, while you act as chair (that means you sum up ideas and direct the discussion, not let anyone dominate, ask quiet people for their opinions). Assume in your tone and words that of course neighbors want to help each other, they just need to find out a good way to do that. Raising the bar for other people usually encourages them to live up to your high opinion of them!
You also want their help in solving the oleander problem. I guarantee that once people with children are alerted to the dangers these bushes pose, they'll INSIST on finding a solution.
When the meeting's done, you'll not only have some allies on your block invested in your neighbor's situation, you'll have planted the seeds (sorry again) for a block community to take hold. And that will benefit everyone.