Letters to the Editor
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Wait One Bleedin' Minute
Why say "Come over and use our pool any time you feel like it" if you don't mean it.
Oh.
Suddenly, I get it. LW says "Come over and use our pool any time you feel like it" when she means "we want to appear overly generous and saintly, and in our community we have to act like we share everything in a communal fashion, but the truth is, it's our pool and we'd rather that anyone who uses it let us know and that they borrow it sparingly."
LW's husband's cousin apparently doesn't speak the "code". She apparently thinks people mean what they say.
Personally? I think LW should just suck it up and either tell cousin a polite, direct, white lie of a truth:
"We thought, in the first flush of owning a new place that it would be great if everyone came and used it all the time, but you know what? Sometimes we want a little "us" time, or private time - not that we don't love having you over! Reality has hit us hard on top of the head!
"Furthermore, we read our insurance policy and if something happened to someone while we're not here or the insurance company even finds out that someone was using our pool when we weren't here? We would be sooooo screwed - they'll cancel our policy. Seriously, do you know how hard it was to find reasonably priced insurance on a house with a pool?
"So. . .could you maybe call us before you come over and cut down on the visits? Don't stop coming - god, no, we'd miss you - but give us some time for wink-wink-nudge-nudge AND help keep us in insurance!"