Letters to the Editor
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Flag
I thought I read this here, but I guess it was somewhere else. Someone had written in with a solution to a similar problem and it was this (I'm paraphrasing): I have a flagpole, and when I fly the yellow flag, then the neighbor's kids know it's okay to come and use the pool. When then flag is down, that means we are doing private things at home and it's not appropriate to come over.
This doesn't address the insurance liability problem, and it might not work if your husband's relatives have already loaded up the car and driven a substantial distance, but once you've established the rule and made it known to all, then it would give you a way to communicate "we're using our backyard right now, and we don't want guests" in a clear non-confrontational way.