Letters to the Editor
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Frequency.
I wasn't going to respond because there is such a great range of responses that a few will resonate with the LW.
Then I re-read the letter. Once, or implied on occasion twice, a week doesn't seem like gross abuse. Somehow I'd got the idea while reading the letters that it was 3 or 4 times a week. If this is the only person abusing the favour, and it's mostly only once a week, then what we're seeing is the writer's aggravation building up, not some horrific abuse by a socially de-tuned moron. I think a once a week response to a warm and open invitation by a close relative is not unreasonable given that it could be construed as a quick swim for the kids after school each day!
Given that, I suggest the LW focus on the responses aimed at having the cousin ring because there may be something else going on. Just "I'll be having some people over some time next week, could you give us a call to check the times don't clash, I found it awkward last time when we were entertaining". That's enough. Not "you ruined it" or "you haunt my house" or "here's your schedule". Who needs a schedule for a once a week visit?* Then when she phones if it's yea or nay, warmly thank her for calling first and say you really appreciated it.
I understand that a small irritant grows over time, but keep it in perspective.
* although I agree that the flag's a simple and terrific idea.