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Tuesday, March 25, 2008 12:00 AM

Would you please get out of my swimming pool!

My husband's cousin dives in without asking.
By Cary Tennis

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  • Tuesday, March 25, 2008 05:07 AM

    some possibilites

    (1) install one of those intestine-sucking drains

    (2) toss in a color TV or toaster, then plug it in

    (3) unwrap and toss in a Baby Ruth bar, leave it floating in the pool (see Caddyshack)

    (4) drain the pool for a week and tell her there's a leak, and that you don't know when it will be fixed

    (5) install a water chiller and keep the temperature at about 50F

    —vaporland Read vaporland's other letters

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