Letters to the Editor
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Miss Manners...
... would likely take umbrage with someone offering lemons to another while in earshot of those to whom she doesn't want, or intend, to give lemons to. Replace lemons with cake, would one ever be so bold as to offer only one guest some cake? I don't think so. Miss Manners likely would have approved of your kind way of pointing out the lemon-tree owner's faux pas by saying that you would also like some lemons.
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Why not get a lightweight tarp, and pull it over your pool on days when you are not home, and futher, yes, tell the cousin that there is a serious ph problem in the pool and until that is corrected all open invitiations are cancelled.