Letters to the Editor
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Sure-fire way to keep her from ever coming back
Go to your nearest big wholesale store and buy two or three industrial-sized containers of vegetable oil.
Put the oil in a bucket next to the pool.
When you see the cousin pulling into the driveway, run out to the pool and just dump the bucket into it.
The oil will sit atop the water, and besides looking gross and nasty, if the cousin actually swims in the water, she'll be covered with oil by the time she gets out. She'll never, ever want to use your pool again.
Okay, maybe that's not such a great idea.