Letters to the Editor
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Too late...
Crap. I wasn't the first to think of the nudity thing. I must be slipping.
As for flags and schedules and calling ahead, take a good look- if this person is brazen and crass enough to A) bring her family to your pool when no one's home and B) crash a party you are having with other guests, then none of these "gentle" solutions will work. Those things are subtle reminders of common courtesy; they are meant to remind people of normal socially-acceptable behavior and give the signal that you won't tolerate anything less. That only works on people who are ALREADY attuned to common courtesy. This woman isn't, as evidenced by A and B.
I guarantee that if you hoist a flag, she will still barge in, saying "oh, surely that doesn't apply to ME >batting eyelashes<." Or "well, we drove all this way, and the kids were SO excited to get to swim, surely you won't make us drive all the way home again..." As for schedules, she will always have some special reason to need to change it at the last minute. And as for calling ahead, you KNOW in your heart of hearts that either A) hubby will tell her that it's AOK with him, B) you will answer and she'll whine and guilt-trip you into saying ok, or C) you won't be home and she'll come over anyway.
Face it, you HAVE to tell her straight-up that you don't want people coming over all the time unannounced. Who gives a shit if it alienates her and her folks?? Good! Then they'll never come over! Hazzah! And then go kick your husband where his balls would have been. :)