Letters to the Editor
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pool abuse requires the direct approach
My sister-in-law had a neighbor who kindly allowed her and the children to use their beautiful in-ground pool at any time. My SIL took full advantage, even saying "wow, we get all of the advantages and none of the upkeep!". Apparently the neighbor's pool was her child rearing plan until adulthood.
The very kind neighbor got transferred and had to sell the house. The new owners arrived to their new home to find my SIL and the kids in their pool. When they told my SIL that they would require full use of the pool and would not be inviting neighbors, she said "but that doesn't include us, does it? Think of my kids!". They held firm. They changed the locks and put a higher fence up. My SIL never forgave them and holds a grudge until this day.
My point is that there is something about a pool that makes people feel entitled. The LW and her husband need to reach an accord on what they feel they can tolerate and explain it once, twice, thrice to the relatives. Post it, lock it, fence it.