Letters to the Editor
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I'm siding with the BF who isn't all keyed up over yo @ss!
So, I'm siding with the boyfriend.
Everyone needs their space and has the right to define what they will and won't share of themselves and their life.
LW, this is BF's apartment, not yours. Just b/c you're quick and easy with moving your stuff into his place, doesn't mean that he should be inconvenienced by your choice. Is his stuff at your place? No.
Does he want to live with you? No! But I don't think you're getting that fact. He wants you to have a place of your own. He only wants to share his space with you when he's around. Just because you make yourself available to him way more than you should doesn't mean he owes you a key. As a woman, I understand where you're coming from. But, I don't agree with it. He might enjoy the benefits of cohabitation, but you are choosing to live inconveniently.
The reality is that you're not stressing b/c you don't want to be the bag lady. You're stressing because the key represents his unwillingness to be vunerable with you. Its not even about trust. He's just not ready to have you all up in his business w/o his permission. If you can't deal with that, then you need to step on (not bitch about it).
Solution: Stop bitching about the key, and stop inconveniencing yourself. After sex, go home! You date him, not live with him! Don't have essentials at his place.
Maybe you didn't know this but you are supposed to get the key first, then leave the essentials (toothbrush, tees, and jeans don't count). I know, I know, they didn't teach you this on Sex and the City, but that's how it works. I've gotten keys, so believe me!
If you don't want to be treated like a puppy, then don't act like one. If you pulled away, then you shouldn't have come back without getting the key! You did it to force his hand (and key) and it didn't work. Don't see his @ss so often. You're barking up the wrong key when you figure nagging him will suddenly garner different results. So stop! Then you'll have time to meet some dude who all keyed up when you aren't around.