Letters to the Editor
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Don't let him make up the rules in your relationship
If you let him define what is acceptable in your relationship, that will never ever change. You have to tell him what is or is not acceptable to you. Do you want to be the subordinate in this relationship? If not, then don't let him be the boss!
I speak from experience. Eleven years ago, I met a wonderful man. We were dating for about two months when this dude completely freaked out. He didn't want to be obligated, he said, to call me the day after seeing each other. Being an adult with some experience in relationships, I could see this for what it was. If I agreed to that, then after a date, he could certainly feel free to call me, but if I made the call, I would be violating the rules. So I told him I couldn't live with that, and, much to his surprise, we broke up.
About two weeks later I called him and told him I didn't think he meant to break up with me. We discussed our expectations like adults, he gave up on that whole "no obligation" thing, and about 6 months later we were engaged. We've been married for 9 years.
Now, your story may very well not end that way. Obviously he's afraid of letting go of his control, and he may be unable to do so. But either way, by being very clear about your own expectations, you WILL win. If this guy can't live with it, at least YOU can live with yourself. Don't be the puppy. Be a woman, stand up for yourself, and if your boyfriend can't deal with it, at least you'll be better prepared for your next relationship.