Letters to the Editor
-
How long...has this been going on?
Judging from the details, I am guessing this relationship is more than a month old. But it doesn't seem much older than 6 months old, because I don't think people could keep up this kind of charade for much longer.
It's also hard to judge the age of the participants, but if somebody is traveling out of state for work, I am guessing each party is over 25 years of age. All the business about schlepping around tote bags, etc., makes the parties sound like college students.
There's not much else to go on. What we do know is that the dick won't spend time at the LW's domicile. Why not? It is never stated. Is her futon lumpy? Her TV too small? Not enough hot water in the shower? Cockroaches? Lives in Yonkers? Too much macrame? We can only guess.
The LW also does not say why the putz won't give her a key. The guy must have given some sort of bogus reason. Trust issues? Did a former girlfriend steal his CDs? Did he catch you reading his email? Did you uncover his stash of porn and make him explain his fetishes to you? Has he seen "Play Misty for Me" one too many times?
Maybe your boyfriend's fragile eggshell mind isn't ready for the mutual understanding and sharing that a key exchange requires. Maybe he foresees a break-up in which he'd rather not have to pay to change his locks. Maybe he's afraid you'll walk on him while he's hacksawing the cadaver of his latest prostitute victim. Or maybe he's afraid you'll let the damn cat out.
Whatever it is, you are at a crossroads in your relationship. Nothing sounds equal, and his behavior sounds ungenerous. Or, maybe you're being too demanding (it's hard to tell from your letter) and he's pulling back.
You have enough information now to decide: Is this going somewhere? What do you want from this? Is the sex good enough to make the non-sex endurable? Should you cut back on the macrame?