Letters to the Editor
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Don't waste any more of your life
If he says that you'll see less of each other if you stop coming by, then he doesn't care enough to make an effort to see you. You need to be with someone who is willing to make at least half of the effort.
This letter makes me so sad. I had a boyfriend who was exactly like this, and I wasted two years of my life doing everything he wanted me to do, because if I didn't behave in suchandsuch a way, he would stop talking to me, or not call me, or otherwise make me feel like he didn't care.
The truth of the matter, of course, is that he really *didn't* care, at least not enough. He didn't care enough to want to be with me on mutual terms -- only on his terms. Eventually (finally) he broke up with me and as sad as I was, my broken heart was not because he dumped me out of the blue or anything like that, my broken heart was for my own sorrow for love I had wanted from him all along, and realized that I never really had.
I regret those two years because even though he could be really fun and loving, it was only when he felt like it and not necessarily when I needed it (like when I was out of work, or having medical problems, or just having a bad day and needing a squeeze and some soft words). I wasted a lot of valuable time (my late 20s!) wishing that I could measure up to whatever imaginary standard he held me to.
It took me a LONG time after our breakup to finally accept that it's OK for me to want to be important to someone. It's perfectly normal and acceptable and even *desirable* for me to want to be important enough to a guy that he remembers to call me, or wants to stay at my house sometimes just because he wants to sleep next to me, or lets me let myself into his apartment if we've been dating forever and I spend all my time there anyway (especially if I'm buying groceries!)
You need to be important to someone, and you are not important enough to this guy. Its really sad and its really hard, but you need to pull yourself away and find someone who wants to be with you, and will make the effort to demonstrate it.