Letters to the Editor
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Most Women go through this...
I and all my girlfriends could give you examples of what amounts to the same thing - we care for a guy, he supposedly cares for us. Things aren't quite what we'd like them to be, but "he's got problems" or "issues" and we just need to be respectful and patient until he works it out. Right?
Wrong. Once I realized I was making excuses for men (legit or not) and not putting my own needs first, I realized what losers they all were. I stopped being the "nice, understanding girl" and to have little patience for being let down. I stopped saying "I understand why you can't give me X" and began saying, "that's not my problem". He will either shape up or ship out real fast. They will all respect you for it.
When I did this, you know what happened? I met my husband. (When all I was looking for was a healthy relationship.) He's not perfect, but that's never an *excuse* to let me down. In this, the right guy became very distinct from the wrong one. Now I look at my own past and at the stories of women I meet every day and think, "it's so easy to see when someone's wasting your time. I can't believe it took me so long!" Make the question, "am i getting what I deserve?" the yardstick by which you judge all partners and you can't go wrong. It really IS that easy.
When the guy comes along that gives it to you, it will be obvious.