Letters to the Editor
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@Anonymous Too
Withholding the key is like hitting amongst toddlers: it's self-rewarding. He gets what he wants by the act itself, which is the LW tying herself in knots for his benefit. Either way, it's all about him. That's why I suggest break-up with no contact. It's the only thing that doesn't reward his behavior.
Being kind to other people's failings is one thing. It's compassionate, even laudable. This doesn't fall into that category, though. Rewarding destructive behavior isn't kind, compassionate or laudable.
I absolutely agree. Rewarding this behavior teaches him that the behavior is ok. The behavior is just garden variety, immature selfishness. If he says "we'll see less of each other" then say "Your loss". I think you have tagged this one.
@Afro-Goddess I get what you are saying, but I'm not sure I agree. Yes, she needs to be smart enough to protect herself and set boundaries, but I do not think this is normal male behavior. This is playa behavior. This is ugly, selfish, jackass behavior. For him to basically demand that she keep her stuff there and then refuse her access to it for his convenience is jerkish. I do agree he needs consequences for it. If he didn't get booty because of his asshattishness, he wouldn't do it. She's letting him get away with it. It's wrong of her to let him get away with it, but I think it is equally wrong of him to act like this. If he does not want her to move in, he needs to get his butt across town to her place half of the time. He's inviting her and then yanking it away. The only way to deal with that type of tease is walk away, and never go back. If he's a tease, he'll mess with her for the fun of the mindfuck forever. WHo needs that?