Letters to the Editor
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Keyless is Clueless
LW states: "I cannot just be treated like an adult."
Oh, really? And whose fault is that? Cary has hit the nail on the head with this one, in that the LW is giving all the power to the BF, and allowing him to call all the shots.
LW, why do you feel that someone else should set the rules for you? Why do you allow someone to inconvenience you instead of establishing your own routine to your own liking? Why do you allow him to make ultimatums, as though your seeing him less would be a bad thing?
The fact that you seem extremely myopic, to say the least, about your own rights and responsibilities in a relationship--not to mention your responsibility to yourself--tells me that you need to work on yourself in the areas of independence and self-respect. There is no person worth staying with who won't be reciprocally considerate of your needs and desires. Living on your own is the best thing you can do while you examine why you allow another person to essentially rule your life, as though you really weren't an adult.
Instead of whining (yes, whining) about how bad things are because of someone else's actions, take matters into your own hands and set reasonable boundaries about what is and isn't acceptable in a relationship. You're not ready to live with someone until and unless you know how to bring your whole self to the table, negotiate on your terms, and compromise in ways that do not diminish your independence and self-worth.
If you need to get help to do this, so be it. To my mind, it's rather astonishing how, in this day and age, some women are all too willing to allow men to set the ground rules. The more leeway you give them, the more they'll take, and they'll eventually get bored with and/or resentful toward your subservience and passivity.
Learn how to live your life your way, set your own ground rules, expectations, and boundaries, and command the respect you deserve in a give-and-take relationship. You need to find out what's preventing you from doing this at this point.
Then, if you want another relationship, seek out one in which (first) you treat yourself as an adult, you're treated as an adult, and you in turn treat your partner as an adult--therein lies the path to mutual satisfaction.
End this relationship, start work on yourself now, and don't get involved with anyone else until you can act, and expect to be treated, as a rational adult without the head games.
Once you begin to "empower" yourself this way, there'll be no going back, and, believe me, the rewards will be great.
Good luck.