Letters to the Editor
-
What does it mean?
My last LTR was with a man that did the same thing with the key, but for some reason, not having a key didn't bother me. I figured the key offer would come at some point, and it did.
I ended up moving in after our third date... that wasn't planed, it just happened that I was spending all my time at his place. We were living together even though I had my own place still and we never talked about the fact that we were living together. The talk never seemed necessary; things were going so well in our relationship.
On Halloween, I was working late and he got a ride to the party we were going to before I was finished working. He told me to make my way to the party when I was done working and we had our first big fight after four months. Halloween was like Christmas to me and my costume was locked in his apartment. For weeks, he saw me teasing my aqua wig, making the hoop skirt and putting together my costume for the party. Our fight was not about the key, but the fact that he did not understand what mattered to me.
The couple that drove him ended up driving him back from the party so that he could unlock the door and I could get into my costume. I felt badly that they were put out and apologized but was happy that he made the effort. A week later, I had the key. His friends told him that he was being silly by not giving me the key. While he had been thoughtless about my costume, he came around to understand what it meant to me and fixed the problem. The key was just an extension of the apology.
Instead of playing games, figure out what the key means to you and tell him. If he refuses to understand that it means something to you, that's a bad sign. That Halloween, I nearly ended my relationship. It wasn't because of the costume, I was very worried that this man wasn't concerned about something that meant a lot to me. For a relationship to last, people need to understand that some things are very meaningful to the other person and be prepared to make some compromises about them. Find out now if this man can make those compromises.