Letters to the Editor
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In truth, we've all been there
I just think there is too much emphasis these days on people undergoing a complete psychological overhaul when relationships end, as tho there were something dreadfully wrong with them.
Tara, I agree with you, and it's especially true here on this letters page. Everyone is very quick to assume that the LW has self-esteem problems and the boyfriend is a controlling asshole. Maybe the LW has just found herself in a position where she doesn't know where or how to set the boundaries. Haven't we all been there? Sometimes you miss the first warning signal that boundaries need to be set because you're having fun falling in love. Sometimes you let it go too long because breaking up with someone just sucks. Neither makes you a dysfunctional person.
I can remember a long ago relationship that definitely taught me where to set my boundaries (after the fact, when vision is much clearer). Obviously, the LW sees there is a problem with waiting on the doorstep with her groceries. If she didn't, then we would have to worry about her.