Letters to the Editor
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This is not a stage/phase you're going through
You need to see a psychiatrist and probably need counseling and medication. Your teen "angst" is severe, and it is not a stage you're going through.
You also don't mention any friends or family interaction -- deliberately absent in your description of your fake abdominal pain episode. There is an abnormal detachment from the real world in your narrative.
Either you're an older person writing a fake letter, or you are clinically depressed and also have some type of personality disorder. Assuming you are really 18 years old, it is imperative that you get medical AND psychiatric help.
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Away with the faeries
Bummer.
Santa Claus, Peter Pan, God, Democracy, all of us realize they aren't real as part of growing up, but this sounds strange.
See the life of Richard Dadd:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Dadd
I'm not so sure about the first letter writer's diagnosis, and prefer not to speculate, but a visit to a psychiatrist might be helpful.
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okay, this doesn't sound normal
"Normal" has fairly broad boundaries but your experiences sound like they may fall outside them. Go see a psychiatrist and get yourself evaluated; what you're describing sounds like a possible personality disorder and maybe the onset of schizophrenia. There's no point in me being more specific; you need to see someone qualified, in person.
Regarding your feelings of betrayal: well, shit, if someone had told me Peter Pan was real like the news on TV real and I found out he wasn't, I'd be pissed off too. But no one told me that. Did anyone tell you that, or did you somehow come up with it on your own?
You might try becoming friends with reality. Roly-polies aren't fairies but they are pretty nifty in their own way.
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Take heart, Fairie Seeker
All is not lost. There are niches even in our society for people such as you. I don't know where you live, but where I live there are psychic fairs and such where you might find similar souls. Each summer in Oregon there is a "Fairie World" festival you might enjoy. (Be sure to wear on your best fairie drag.)
Certain professions allow you to stay in touch with your natural self. I, for example, find that as a massage therapist my world is soft-edged and benevolent.
Hook up with similar souls if you can, but know that you can be your true self if you don't get caught up in the criminal, the incarcerative, or the "western medicine" hell places.
Apply for work at Brietenbush Hot Springs, take long hikes in the woods, breathe, love, and don't get too scary for other people.
Good Luck!
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Arbadacarba! (That is Abracadabra backward.)
Please pay no attention to these ding-dongs behind the curtain! I am serious. Please hold onto your fantastic ideas.
Everybody who tries to tell you what life really is like, except for Carey Tennis, will turn out to be wrong (maybe your dad, for example). In a very few years, all this stuff they tell you now, with stern expressions, and rock-solid certainty, will turn out to be utterly wrong.
Please continue to look for Peter Pan. Look Wall Street people straight in their eyes and tell them about the reality of Santa Claus. Please keep your mind and your soul in fantastic mode. Nice, true-hearted, child-like, idealistic fantastic mode, not Freddy Boring Kruger and such low-brow nasty grown-up perversions.
Believe in chivalrous love. Keep the faith. See the real world, not the silly, shallow shadows. And smile, and joust, and climb trees.
You need often to live in the shallow world of shallow people, but you may keep your own realer, better world. In the shallow world, the closest to magic I have found is playing music with other people. But high magic exists everywhere. Please stay in its realm.
Frodo lives!
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I agree
As usual, I feel uncomfortable diagnosing a letter writer that I'll never meet, but if you do go to a doctor, he/she will almost certainly give you a diagnosis (probably high functioning autism since that seems popular lately) and load you up with samples of whatever drug the drug reps have delivered that day. I have never known anyone who saw a shrink and was told, "No, what you're feeling is perfectly natural; it's called being human, and we all have times where we feel like we're falling apart."
Not to say drugs and therapy don't work. They do. So do a lot of other things. If you are going to college and living in a dorm with your peers for four years, you can probably delay deciding about what you want to do in the "real world." College is a great time to try out different roles and personas. In college, you will meet many people who seem to have it all together and have their future perfectly planned. It's an illusion. They probably aren't as self-confident as they're trying to appear.
Good luck with whatever route you take.
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Your childhood dreams aren't over...
... You're still living in them. Specifically, the childhood fantasy that you are the center of the universe and will be loved no matter what you do. At some point, the consequences of your behavior will catch up to you, and you'll find yourself with no one but the faeries to keep you company. Do yourself a favor and find a good therapist. One who will help you explore why you spent so much of your childhood in a fantasy world that you find impossible to leave behind. You are young and there is a big, beautiful world to explore and wonderful relationships to create. But you're not going to get very far if you continue deceiving yourself or others.
I wish you luck.
- Chili
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Roly polies are more cool than fairies
The trick is to see the world as it is, and to embrace it. There are no fairies, but the roly-polies that found shelter in the fairy houses are themselves incredibly intricate and in their own way beautiful animals. Life doesn't need to be full of fairies to be still full of child-like wonder.
As the first poster here noticed, there are probably serious, difficult issues that go beyond what a few words here can affect. I feel a lot of sadness, perhaps recognizing a part of myself in the letter. All I can say is don't get hung up on fairies and other pretty things. There are other treasures in this life. They often come with an awareness of pain and sorrow as well as beauty and joy. But they do not feel empty or need to be altered by lies. And they are all around us.