Cary gasses on about things he knows little about. Ivy league PhD programs aren't crowded with the summering, yachting classes. Perhaps the letter writer might try working in the real world for a while, before he plunges into either program. His chances for meaningful work with a PhD are slim anyway, so why not try writing something with that shiny MFA, down South with the long-suffering beau?

To Cary:

There's no snob like a reverse snob.

And writers really should write what they know about. I think you were having too much fun watching the Gatsby of your imagination. F.Scott, not Gatsby, went to Princeton, however.

To the LW:

I'm a survivor of an Ivy Ph.D. program. Worked my way through, as a matter of fact. It wasn't the hardest thing I've ever done. The hardest thing was to leave a tenure track position because I saw it as a dead end. Fortunately, the degree had taught me to learn like a superconductor -- and I learned one of the other things that the Ivies teach as naturally as breathing: how to network.

There was a good article recently on how graduates of programs in things like slave literature, queer literature, and other very narrow and fairly modern specializations have a better chance of finding work, even if it's in the expository writing and other service areas of an English or general studies or other type of humanities department.

But if you go on for the doctorate, I'd say that the only reason to go on is for the sheer love of the subject because, unless you are very fortunate as well as very good, the love of the subject (and some adventitious student loans) will be what you will graduate with.

It has proved, in my case, to be enough. Enough to remember what I learned with the same love with which I entered the program; enough to enable me to find outside work that I try hard to keep.

Writers write. You have the MFA, and the South has a magnificent tradition of literary fiction. Why wouldn't you go there?

You've already had one stint of underemployment. You've already had a nervous breakdown. So if I were you, as tempting as the higher-status school is, I'd go where you have the best chance of a life and of funding. You are no good to the Ph.D. program nor it to you if you wash out into a hospital or disability, and it can happen in a tough first-year program. I've seen it; it's not pretty.

I realize you feel as if you've "wasted" time. This won't make a damn bit of difference to you, but I earned my Ph.D. when I was 27, which was insanely young in the humanities. It was the right move at the time. Long term, I don't know. That's someone else's story.

But if I were going on for a Ph.D. in English with a specialty in slave narratives, I think I'd hesitate to use the term "retarded" as a pejorative: the scholar of one badly disadvantaged group shouldn't insult another. And I'd proof: "teachers" should be "teaches."

Those are nits. Good luck, and I hope you make the decision that's right for you.

Seriously. There are certain schools that have wham bam name recognition in certain fields. They aren't ranked 60th or 90th. So either way, it doesn't sound like you need to factor in name recognition. Even if a school has overall name recognition, people in your field will know it was ranked 60th. So it doesn't even matter. Go to the place you like better.

1. My lovely and taleneted nieces could have gotten in, but they did not even apply. I said, "In the future (tm), you will meet Harvard graduates who will believe the only reason you did not go there was that you could not get it in." They replied, "Screw Harvard garduates and you, kooky old uncle," or words to that effect. (They are from the snowy Midwest, but still, they could have gotten into dear Harvard and Princeton and the rest.)

2. Apply to Oxford and Cambridge! Even more prestigious, and they take people such as the guy from my wonderful band, Luna Park. I edited his doctoral thesis for Oxford. It was short and less than earth-shattering. Now he has a DPhil Oxon. (=PhD, but from holy Oxford), upon which he dines out whenever he is hungry. He is a great guy, but no smarter than my nieces. You can do this. To heck with 90th rank. Go to subjective, unrankable Numero Uno.

Good Luck!

You can take a lot of the uncertainty out of this process by examining the placement record of each school that you are considering.

Whether your goal is an academic job or any job, the placement record is crucial information. Find out how many people graduate each year, how many get jobs, and where. If they give you a list of names and places, make sure you find out the year that each person graduated, as some schools will list every placement they've had in 100 years and try to make it all look recent.

Since both schools are ranked relatively low, your job options will be limited. If that's fine with you, then great -- as long as these schools are getting people some type of employment, then follow your heart and don't worry about ranking.

However, if you are not satisfied with the program and career options that these schools present, you do have another choice -- you can get an MA in English literature and reapply with a much stronger resume. I'm sure you are reluctant to do this coming out of an MFA, but that is probably your only path to a Top 20 school.

But since you already think rankings are bullshit, I bet you are the kind of person who doesn't care if you end up with a prestigious job. Do the graduates of the 90th-ranked program end up with low status teaching jobs in Podunk? Would you be okay with a low status teaching job in Podunk? Then go where you want. You will be just fine.