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Monday, March 17, 2008 12:00 AM

I'm living in filth!

I let the dogs ruin the carpet again. How do I replace it?
By Cary Tennis

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  • Monday, March 17, 2008 01:13 PM

    This is a joke, right?

    If not, here's a solution guaranteed to work: Kill the dogs and eat them. Then kill your husband and eat him. Finally, kill yourself.

    Make sure you perform the above instructions on the current filthy carpet- your landlord will appreciate only having to replace it once.

    —jhoinsd Read jhoinsd's other letters

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