Letters to the Editor
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Parenting Does Not Gurarantee a Sense of Fulfillment
The LW may have idealized the kind of parent she would be, as well as having idealized the outcome.
We all plan to be and want to be great parents, but, in reality, many of us are not that great. Even if we are, there is no guarantee the child will turn out "right". Despite the best nature and nurture, sometimes the child turns out to be a bad person. The only fulfillment in that is knowing you did the best you could, which isn't much fulfillment.
It's easy to idealize what we can't have. For example, I often think of a past lover and I am sure if he hand't gotten away, I would be a much happier woman and had a much more fulfilled life - until I face the reality that he just wasn't that into me!
The LW is going to have to let this go, or her life will be truly wasted. There is much happiness to be had in life without procreation.