Letters to the Editor
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Its because of stories like yours that I supervise my children closely...
As an older sister, I remember picking on my younger sister (by 2.5 years), but not like this. Even so, my sister has had a lot of pain around the fact that my mother pretty much ignored a lot of what happened. I carried guilt as well and have apologized to my sister for many things and am prepared to apologize some more if she remembers something that I don't at first. (Sorry, older sibling abuse survivors, the abuser often doesn't remember all of the abuse). Thankfully, apologizing helped a lot with my relationship with my sister. If it's any insight, my father was pretty abusive toward me and things were pretty screwed up in general. Who knows why your older half brother did those things? He may very well be a born sociopath, or he may have been experiencing abuse himself. Definitely see a therapist or many. Read a lot about the subject. Stay committed to your emotional and mental well being. You will eventually understand without sacrificing yourself.
On a slightly different note...I don't know if it was the era or what, but I don't understand how all of that crap could have been happening without your parents knowing about it. I mean, come on! Maybe parents 20 - 30 years ago were willing to ignore crazy stuff like that. As a mother of two young kids, I am solidly committed to monitoring my children's behavior toward each other and with others (and other's behavior with them as well) at all times (or trust them with people who believe in supervision). I also work on fostering affinity and empathy for each of them toward each other. I know monitoring may get harder to do that as they get older, but I am committed to finding a way. This type of thing will not go on under my nose!
All the best, LW. You have my compassion.