Letters to the Editor
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Saying No Is Scary
I think a lot of women have assertiveness problems and difficulty saying 'no' because we have an outsized fear of what will happen when we say no. The letter writer imagines that if she says no 'everyone' will think she's a bitch. It will be awkward to pass people in the building. The neighbor will react badly and be more aggressive than the letter writer is comfortable with, and the conversation will be so difficult that it will not be worth having.
In fact, the writer, if she practices saying no, will find that the reaction was not nearly as bad as she feared. The neighbor will not think she is a bitch, she might even realize what an out-of-line request renting the space was and feel a little embarrassed herself.
Practice makes perfect. At first reacting assertively will be hard, because you will have anxiety about the negative reactions you imagine happening. But as you practice, and find that your fears do not come true, it will become easier. You might even start to wonder what you were afraid of in the first place.
Just say no. The world will not end. Your neighbor will not think you are a bitch. You will feel a huge amount of relief.