Letters to the Editor
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There's no reason you should be alone
You're in culture shock. Even if you like the culture you're in, that's what's happening. It's natural, and sometimes it takes a while to get over. When I moved to Europe this last time (that's right, I'd done it before) I STILL thought for 6 weeks "oh god, what have I done?" (5 years later I'm still here and happy.)
Cary's right about finding activities, but he's wrong about the amount of effort that will take. I am guessing that you are in an English-speaking country (???) and IF so that may be working against you in the sense that speaking the native tongue may allow you to fall between the cracks of local and foreign student communities. Don't let yourself feel like you don't really belong to either - rather you can fit in with both!
NOW - Having worked in study abroad for years I can tell you that NO foreign student SUPPORT! Join groups, clubs, activities, you WILL make friends. There is surely some International Student Office/Group that plans activities for you. GO THERE. There's no way there aren't group trips to see the regional sites. Participate. You'll see the country and have friends in no time. But do it now because the longer you wait, the harder it is. The beginning of the school term is when there's a flurry of integrating activities.
Living alone might not be for you at this stage either. If you need to, find a living situation that puts you with roommates.
But more than anything, go to the International Student office. Their job is to help you integrate. You are not alone.
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Spot on.
Usually I'm aghast at Cary's advice - especially vis-a-vis parenting - but this one's a keeper. We have a kid who, by his own dream-chasing choosing, has been accepted into a challenging but possibly life-changing program this summer, and it's going to challenge him not just intellectually but emotionally and practically (as in executive functioning) as well. And it will be the emotional/practical life skills part that we're concerned (not worried) about, and we're trying to prepare a non-listening teenager as well as we can.
To make a longish story short: we'll be urging him (subtle, oblique suggestion is about as much as we can do - parents of teens will understand) to read Cary's advice to this LW. It's great advice, and I know, because I've been there. What a mitzvah to be able to learn about yourself in this way!
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Yes, You Do Have Culture Shock
Here's a great article that I found about it: http://www.studentsabroad.com/cultureshock.html
I did study abroad in Japan as an undergraduate and I'm about to do another stint this summer in China as a grad student. I really loved it, however not every minute is pure joy. Even your friends who are telling you that it's fabulous have their moments when they really want to bail. It's just natural. It's fun and overwhelming and interesting and depressing, sometimes all at once.
I met a ton of people while I was doing study abroad, mostly because I was living with a homestay family and they made sure that I had activities planned pretty regularly. Also, the students at my school seemed interested in getting to know me, but that language barrier was a problem at times. Are there any other Americans (I'm assuming your from the States) that are attending your school in Europe? Maybe you could buddy up and hang out, or tag along when they go out with local friends. I am still good friends with one of the students from my program in Japan and just being able to speak English and vent about annoyances was a real life saver.
Also - watching TV isn't so bad. It's escapist and sometimes you need that. There were no English-language programming where I was living, so I listed to the same 14 episodes of This American Life on my iPod about a million times just so I could hear something familiar.
Point I'm trying to make is, you are still early in your program. You still have plenty of time to get out there and make the most of it. So do it!
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Expectations vs Reality
I don't doubt the LW is having trouble developing a social network but it also sounds like he's given up on trying. I don't know if he'd really expected that a group of interesting, trendy Euro-hipsters were just waiting for him to show up so they could escort him around the city but as a seasoned traveler, I know from experience that when you travel alone, you'd best prepare to spend a lot of time on your own.
Depending on where you travel, your actually experiences may be very different from what you were expecting. Europe is a good destination for first time international travelers because while they are other countries with different languages or customs, they are still Western nations that an American can adjust to relatively quickly. Depending on your grasp of the language (if it's not an English-speaking country), getting around should not be difficult at all. Just because you are by yourself doesn't mean that you cannot avail yourself of all the interesting things the city has to offer. You can go to the museums and historical sites, dine in good resturants, shop in local markets and immerse yourself in the daily life of the people who live there. After all, that is what your study abroad period is about. There is no excuse to be sitting home when you have the opportunity to really explore a new place. Take a tour to get yourself started, buy a really good guide book and get going.
If you are studying a particular topic (art, for instance) talk with your advisor about what local student organizations you can join in to meet people with similar interests. Hang out and ask questions - some of the best people I met while traveling were those who took the time to answer my questions and we ended up talking a little more.
You may be dissapointed that the culture isn't that different from your own, but if you are having problems developing a social network in a place where you do have something in common with the people around you, it would be much worse in a country where the culture is nothing like you are familar with. I spent three weeks traveling across Japan on my own, and for all of their modern conveniences, the culture of Japan is so drastically different from my own that I had no real reference point. Thankfully I had expected this somewhat, and I had expected a language barrier so I spent months before my trip learning to speak Japanese. I wasn't fluent, but I could speak well enough to ask simple questions and understand the answers, communicate my needs and actually speak to people. Make no mistake, I was still very isolated and had to be comfortable going out and doing things on my own because otherwise I never would have left my room.
You really have only two choices here - the first is to go home and just chalk it up to being an experience that wasn't right for you. The other choice is to buck up, turn off the tv and go out. Go to museums and markets and just walk along the streets. Chat with the lady who runs the place where you get breakfast in the morning. Ask for directions or for someone to explain something to you. You need to get out of your comfort zone and put yourself into situations that you would not have considered before. If everyone goes out at night for tapas, go yourself and don't be afraid to go out alone. Many people will see a lone traveler and reach out to them. Even if they don't and you end up having a few glasses of wine by yourself it'll be better than sitting alone in your room.