Letters to the Editor
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When I moved from Miami to Seattle in 1999...
it took a year and a half for me to get oriented..this won't be your case, LW, if you consider Cary's sage advice.
Being in a new place always presents a learning curve. Other people do not need directions, they know the routes and where they are going. They zip around confidently while we peer at street signs and look for numbers on buildings. Newcomers don't know how to get from A to B...so..the map comes out.. one meets friendly bus drivers, store clerks, strangers.
It takes a little time to feel like part of the local landscape.
A woman I met in class that first fall in Seattle is one of my most frequent correspondents now, nine years later.
Best of luck to ya'.
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Throw out the tv!
Walk about the city with a map in your hand. Find a park and sit next to someone of any age on a bench and try to start a conversation. Just say hello or hi. Smile at people as they pass. Make your heart and demeanor open to the scene around you. If you sre in a crowd and don't speak the language, ask aloud, "Anyone here speak English? " Speak to people in shops and museums and on the streets. Do the same for your classmates. Go to church and smile. It will happen. Throw away the tv. Today! Good luck!
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Just like me
Sometimes I've read letters on here and thought I could relate, but this one is EXACTLY me.
I had all of the same experiences as you describe...boredom, not making many friends, just wanting to be back home. And I was always also an outgoing person, and I was genuinely interested in the place where I was living.
I ended up coming home after the semester, and not finishing the full year. I dont regret making that choice--it was where I was at that time. As much as I was outgoing and all, I dont think I was quite ready to be that far away from home.
It was with great nervousness then, that I applied to a multi-year volunteer abroad program when I graduated. I worried that I was going to fail at that also for the same reasons. But I also took more effort in NOT looking ahead and forming as many expectations. Then I wouldnt be let down.
Long story long, I completed my term working overseas, and it propelled me into the next stages of my life (grad school, meeting my fiance), and I look back on it with great memories (as I do with the undergrad experience). At the same time, there were points where I had to drag my ace out of bed, like Cary said. Talk to the dweeby other gringos in your program. You need them, even if they annoy you. Put yourself out there. Hang out at cafes, etc. Having been on both sides of it, you'll feel better after you do!
But also dont worry about "wasting" your experience now. I'm sure it's still changing you in many ways; ways that you wont realize until you get back. And maybe the point is also to bring things "internal" for a little bit and focus on you.
Good luck!
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Homesick
I don't want to say this is "just a phase," but if you take some of the good advice here (especially Cary's) you may very well get opver your homesickness and thrive with this great opportunity.
On a smaller scale, when I was in college in New Hampshire I went to California on a student exchange program, and absolutely hated and detested it for the first month. We had to commit within that first month to either stay a second semester or come home, and I gladly gave up my spot for the next semester.
Naturally, within another month I was begging them to let me come back.
You could get over this.
On the other hand, OK - so it's Europe. It's old and crumbly and full of socialists. (I'm KIDDING, OK?!)
Plenty of people don't care for Europe. There's nothing wrong with you if it's not the life-altering experience you thought it would be.
Come home if you like. We'll still love you.
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Similar experience
I lived overseas for a number of years and initially found myself in a similar predicament. The weariness of travel, taking in the new culture, learning a new language; it all wore me out and I stayed in my room. I understand that, perfectly.
It wasn't until I actively involved myself in my new environs that I started making friends and really feeling comfortable.
For me, it was doing volunteer work with a human rights organization that set me free. For you, it might be something else - tutoring English at the university, maybe?
Pull out your list of all the reasons why you wanted to study overseas in the first place and all the things you intended to do, post it in a place you can't miss, and take pleasure in ticking each item off.
Don't waste time you'll regret later on. Pick up one foot and put down the other, even when you're tired and/or overwhelmed. Make good choices and stick by them. Keep a journal and make sure you write a damn interesting one. You may not get this chance again.
Best of Luck - STS
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Experimental travel
I discovered a very cool book a couple of years ago - the Lonely Planet Guide to Experimental Travel. It is based upon ideas by a French group called Latourex. One can read almost everything the book contains on Latourex's site - http://www.latourex.org
Some of the ideas are really kooky. There are a few really useful gems there, however. I have used them personally to create positive experiences for myself in Europe.
The ideas are all vehicles for forcing yourself to get out and interact with the city in different ways.
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Give yourself a break
Okay, someone has already posted a "Throw away your TV and go meet people!" letter... but I imagine you've been telling yourself the same thing since you arrived. If it were that simple, you would have done it by now.
My suggestion is to lower your expectations and stop trying to have the ultimate, awesome, perfect, life-changing experience... that's too much pressure.
Instead, tell yourself this: "It's okay if I don't love it here. It's okay if I don't make lots of friends, or any friends."
If you can make peace with these realities, you can try to make the best of your time in Europe without feeling like you have failed, or have wasted your time.
Imagine a day where you walk through a foreign city by yourself, read a book on a park bench, and write a journal entry in a cafe. Then you purchase dinner, go back to your apartment, and watch television before bedtime. A day like that should not make you feel like a failure because you're not living it up with your new European best friends. A day like that could be a perfectly nice day if you aren't feeling pressure to have a different kind of day, the kind you saw in movies about Americans in Europe.
I'm not saying you should give up on socializing -- on the contrary, I think Cary's suggestions are quite good. I'm sure other people will have ideas for making new friends, and I hope you keep trying. But I really feel that you need to stop pressuring yourself and accept that your time abroad is not what you thought it might be. And that's totally fine. It's okay to spend time alone. It's okay to watch television. Really. You're doing the best you can, and it will all be over soon.