Letters to the Editor
-
This is deeper than her slowness
This is about her husband not respecting her and not caring enough for her companionship to adjust his pace even when they're just walking. I'm friends with a married couple who do triathlons; the husband always finishes near the front, and his wife comes in way in the back of the pack. And you know what? He once emailed me a photo of her finishing a large triathlon in exactly 100th place, he was so proud of her. She had this huge grin on her face and her arms spread out wide as she crossed the finish line, and he shared her joy. So why does LW's husband get angry at her when she doesn't keep up with him in a ski race? He sounds like he's embarrassed by her, or incredibly insensitive to her needs.
-
Who!!! Cares!!!
Well, I'm just bored.
-
Two things
You should indeed play sports seperately, he's just much faster, he is indeed a man and men in general are faster and can throw farther and if he can't play nice, just don't play with him. My husband used to be a really sore loser when we were dating, so I said if you can't learn to accept that sometimes I'm going to win, then I'm just not ever going to play a game with you. He learned to check his anger and realize that your girlfriend beating you at pool or cards once in a while is no big deal.
As for the walking thing though, that just makes him a prick. I have short legs, though I'm a speedy walker. All my friends and my husband are tall and have long legs, through no fault of their own I generally end up a few paces behind them. Then I say hey, wait up. They slow down, apologize and slow their pace so we can converse or walk together, hubby especially has to do this if I'm in heels.
Since your husband is prick master general regarding walking so far ahead of you that you could get lost in a crowd. I suggest a little prickness of yourself, when he's walking 5 paces in front of you, just stop and go home or call a friend and go out with them. He won't notice that you're gone for a little while, but when he does, if he honestly gives a shit about you he'll panic and wonder what the heck happened to you.
The fact of the matter is, what if you guys had a child? A child cannot walk as fast as an adult, would he just walk half a block ahead of them and say hey, you better run if you want to catch up. I mean shit, you have shorter legs than him, tell him that physically you cannot walk as fast as he does and he is being insensitive and cruel to expect you to jog beside him like you're some dog.
-
I'm a fairly brisk walker
Especially by Southern California standards but sometimes my boyfriend would simply outpace me.
He was also about a foot taller than me and not wearing pointy heels.
Occaisionally I would reach out, grab his arm and say "Short legs, high heels!" which sort of got the point across and he'd smile sheepishly and match pace. It didn't happen frequently. Really only when we were in a hurry to get somewhere and I was too dressed up to really give it my usual NY trot. Or if the floors were slippery or hazardous.
Do you ever hold hands with your husband when you're walking together? If you're holding hands, or even having a conversation it's a lot harder for one person to outpace the other. It just doesn't happen...because the focus is on the conversation, or the nice hand in yours...not the strides per minute.
If holding hands and/or having a conversation isn't likely while walking through the grocery store, or from the restaurant to the car then your problem isn't strictly one of "short legs/high heels" y'know? At that point you're just not walking together...period.
-
I'm a Fast Walker
Even though I'm short, I always walk faster than other people in a crowd. Whenever someone gets in front of me on the sidewalk, they walk slower than I want to go. I get frustrated if I can't pass them.
But I recognize this as my own personal quirk. I walk faster than most people. So when I'm walking with my wife (or anyone else), I have to slow down to accommodate her. Sometimes I forget and get a few paces ahead, and I have to force myself to slow down.
That's what marriage is about: adjusting your speed to walk with your partner (both literally and figuratively.)
-
Wow just like my ex
My ex was exactly the same way. When we biked together, I could never keep up, he had to go fast, fast fast. When we played ping pong together he had to hit the ball as hard as he could to beat me by as much as possible. Whenever we did anything it was the same way. Eventually, I found friends who weren't so driven and that I could keep up with. Which is how I found my new husband. LOL
-
The boyfriend exercise rule
The more fit (or fast) person should adjust their pace to the less fit (or fast) when they exercise together. That makes exercise "together" and not merely "simultaneous". If the more fit person needs a greater level of challenge they should get that separately either in additional exercise alone or by exercising independently as Cary suggests.
I've always thought of this as the boyfriend rule altho it's non-gender specific. I also thought it was intuitive but it's clearly not.
Both of these last points were made clear to me when my wife, who has been fitter and faster than me for several years now, started leaving me in the dust when we tried to exercise together. We don't even try to exercise together any more.
I suppose in my heart of hearts I resent her lack of sensitivity and awareness of a courtesy that seems to me like it should be intuitive, but at least we don't have to confront that resentment any time we need some exercise.