Letters to the Editor
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@ Brulette
LW is a musician, an obviously a sensitive, different person.
Nope. He is a needy, whiny drama lover who harangues his friends. This isn't me describing him - this is the LW describing himself. And frankly, I give him credit for at least admitting that he is acting like an asshole.
(And btw: there are countless musicians out there who do not act like this. I am one of them. So are many of my mentors. This positive-but-really-negative-and-insulting stereotype about "sensitive" (read: difficult assholes) musicians implicit in your statement is utterly FALSE)
It can be hard for people like that to find their tribe, or for that matter, to have any tribe at all.
Brutal reality check: it is hard for ALL OF US to find our tribe. Some people out there who seem super-popular and sociable are actually incredibly lonely, and don't feel like they belong.
Some of us are merely wired differently.
Being a 30-something man-child is not "being wired differently"; it is making an active choice not to behave in an acceptable way with the people in your life...
...but more importantly, it is making an active choice in how you TREAT the people in your life.
LW is not a special, sensitive, rare wallflower. He is a grown man acting like an asshole.
And to excuse and euphemize the way he CHOOSES to interact with people does neither him nor his friends/family any good.
You may give him a free pass on all his behavior - but would you continue to do so when he called for the 17th time that evening at 3 am to ask you if he is, like, really worthy of love?
If the LW and people like him buy into this feel-good, pop-psychology "You are not being a Jerk, you are simply Unique and Special" crap, then ultimately it will be to their detriment and unhappiness.
Which is why I re-iterate: LW, wake up and smell the reality. You have it within yourself to treat your friends with decency and respect - such as giving them space when they need it, not plaguing them with your drama-lovin' antics, etc.
When you are ready to make that CHOICE, the life and circle of people you wish to be a part of will be there...