Letters to the Editor
-
There's more than just a garage and a house
Here are a couple of pluses to living in the suburbs compared to the city:
1. You're a lot less likely to get deliberately run over by an aggressive driver when you're riding a bike to the grocery store.
2. You have a back yard where you can plant things like fruit trees and vegetables, and do organic gardening and rainwater reclamation.
You can change the suburbs too. Tear out the lawn and any hedges that require motorized maintenance. Put in drought-tolerant shade trees and install cisterns to collect rainwater.
Get a couple of good bicycles, plant a Meyer lemon tree and some heirloom tomatoes.
Get to know the organic fertilizers in your local nursery.
One day you might start to relax and become actively engaged in creating a "new suburbanism."
I think the suburbs are on the verge of a major transformation. Not quite there, but on the verge.
They need to be made more environmentally friendly, and it sounds like the LW and his wife are the kind of people who could help move things forward.
If they can just relax and look to the positives.
-
Anonymous w/o the driveway:
Just don't forget to park you car on the OTHER side of the street on street cleaning days, whatever day that might be.
You will thank me for this someday. =)
-
I love your American dream, Cary.
Your American dream has almost taken away the sick feeling I have in my stomach whenever someone says the phrase, "American dream." Now will you please do something about the horrible feeling that I get whenever someone says the phrase, "one man and one woman"?
-
Feeling his pain. . . .
The suffering of the upper class is interesting. Dude has a Ph.D., a lucrative job, his wife has what seems like a nice job, and they have great house. But now he has a commute, and nowhere to walk . . . based on a conscious decision that he and his wife made. Now he can afford to sell the house and take a $50K loss on it.
This is such a problem that he needs to contact an advice columnist?
What's next? Maybe he'll have anguish of soul over whether to keep the Mercedes or trade it in on the new Audi.
I've never had a "lucrative" job, but I have had jobs that pay the bills and put food on the table. I have a modest house in the suburbs -- it was all I could afford -- and a long commute.
The difference is that I feel damned lucky to have that, and I never once felt compelled to share my suffering with an advice columnist.
My advice to the LW -- suck it up, and don't contact an advice columnist again until you have a real problem.
-
Amen to Laurel962
Well said. You get it. Lots of these letters seem to be missing the point.
-
The rough lives of hedge fund employees
I'm sorry, but I don't find myself with much sympathy for this guy. He probably has more resources than 98% of Americans not to mention the rest of the world.
He should stop whining, be grateful that he is so well off, wait a while, and maintain an ongoing dialog with his wife about where they would be best off living. It will work out in the long run, and in the meantime, he should work on finding ways to enjoy his current circumstances.
In addition, I suggest he find some volunteer work helping those less fortunate than himself - which shouldn't be hard to find. Then maybe he would realize how friggin' lucky he is.
I should add the I am a fairly affluent middle-aged guy who has done his fair share of navel-gazing and agonizing over "problems" that many other people would probably love to have - but I like to think that I at least have a modicum of self-awareness about it and can put it in perspective.
Cary - I suggest that you find a guest co-writer - perhaps an African-American single mother living on a low income in an unsafe neighborhood, or an immigrant who is well-educated but is having to drive a cab or something like that to make it here - to weigh in on some of these letters.
Or, to save us all a lot of time and trouble, I could summarize about half your letters thus and what the answer should be:
Q: I'm rich, young, beautiful and married to a fabulous person, but my every waking moment isn't orgasmically, mind-blowing perfect and so I'm miserable.
A: Grow the f*&$&* up already!
-
been there, done that
As soon as the last of my children left for college, we moved back to the city, dumped a car and never looked back. Some people are not made for suburban living. Some people thrive there (gosh, how I do know, I lived amongst them for so long they are still in my pores).
Having said that, bicycling and working the yard, suggested by Silenced are very good ideas, if you must stay. Take the opportunity of the open space and use it.
But it just goes to show, the house one's lives in is a poor investment vehicle. Too much emotion is involved for it to work for you as an investment should. Houses are homes and when they are no longer a home, the money becomes a far second consideration. Not for a minute would I feel any hesitation to sell any of my stock holdings as soon I see any tanking.
Now you know, put your house money where your heart is. This has been a good life lesson for LW.
-
Ironic that the LW works in investments
Unless the LW lives in Detroit, I suspect his house is not going to lose $200K in the next few years, and any idiot knows that staying in a house less than 5 years is not a good idea, financially. What that tells me is that the LW doesn't know what he wants, doesn't know what he's got to work with, and this trumps everything. He's not in the position to make any smart decisions at this time.
So he either has to wait and see if he can figure things out, or talk to somebody -- like a paid professional, a shrink or a tax advisor, maybe both -- and see what he's missing. Otherwise it just doesn't matter what anybody says about what he should do.
Oh, and while I love Cary and love the city, the "new urbanization" is not a panacea for living in the 21st century. If you're living in California there's a good chance you're using water meant for other people and you probably should stop, before your do a number on the environment. Though it's probably too late for that anyway.