I'm serious. My "soulless suburban street" --a Levittown, no less--began to be a neighborhood about five years ago when a late winter snowstorm left me at home with a cranky three-year-old and no idea of how to keep her happy all day. On an impulse, I called the lady down the street, who had two little boys and was in basically the same boat. A playdate became dinner which became a potluck for the whole street. Everybody came; one neighbor brought the entire contents of his liquor cabinet and we disposed of most of it. My husband, who was out of town,was jealous he wasn't here for the weather disaster. The kids were happy, the adults were happy, and the whole thing totally changed the character of our street.

Yeah, we were lucky in that none of us were psychotic or religious fanatics or just nasty people--that's a chance you gotta take--but the point it: those soulless suburbs are populated by PEOPLE. They are called NEIGHBORS. Put yourself out there; get to know them. It's possible you may be living in an actual neighborhood.

For the time being, you need to make an attempt to figure out where your passions lie. You don't have kids yet by the sound of your letter, & even with your high-powered career you probably don't have alot of free time on your hands. But try to set aside some moments to explore your "inner artist" as you lay in bed at night, do some brainstorming & imagining. I know it's hard when your mind is consumed by all things negative & everything may seem insurmountable for now, but just try it anyway. Be quiet with yourself, listen to your heart. The negative energy you experience currently is most certainly sucking the life out of you, who can blame you for being depressed? It's hard to muck through all the mud when all you feel is anger & regret for making your choices, but you made them, & now you have to learn to turn it around. Do you enjoy beautiful flower beds or succulent vegetable gardens? Can you play an instrument? Do you enjoy cooking? Do you enjoy writing? Can you draw or paint? What is it that nutures your soul & gives you a sense of joy & freedom?

I know how the suburbs can be a crushing, soul-stunting experience. But as a young man, you have the time & energy right now to rechannel some of that negative focus into something more positive by exploring your creativity. If you do have kids someday, even if you lose something timewise after you've discovered what provides you with that soul fulfillment, you'll have gained something by being more at peace with yourself, happier & more content with your life, & it will reflect on your children.

Not to sound blatantly trite, but your life is what you choose to make it, & you need to learn to keep it simple. I know you can do this, because we're all endowed with that capability, whether we choose to believe it or not under the circumstances we're faced with daily. Time to get busy...& good luck.

Wow...I'd like to thank the LW and also a whole lot of the people who have submitted comments. You have all made me happy to live in a small town of around 100K population in one of your "flyover" states.

We have a major state university here with 30K students and some decent associated museums. We get great culture (picture me smacking my gum as I say this) at our Lied Center. Although the population of the "townies" is not particularly diverse, the diverse student population guarantees that we always have a great selection of restaurants in our beautiful, old-fashioned downtown area.

Oh, my office is in that downtown area, by the way, and I can easily walk to work because it is less than a mile...but more frequently, I ride a bicycle. It's easy to walk downtown for shopping or great food. The grocery store is a mile the other direction.

My neighbors are absolutely fantastic and our neighborhood is somewhat mixed economically...and certainly quite safe. We can (and sometimes accidentally do) leave the front door unlocked for days or weeks at a time.

Sometimes I get a little bit depressed about relative property values...or the lack of population diversity...or the fact that my state will almost certainly send seven electors to the electoral college to vote for McCain.

But, WOW...life is actually really good in small town USA!!!

LW...you should move to a small town!

As someone who grew up in the suburbs, I hated being a kid there. For one thing, there was nowhere to go. I couldn't go to the library by myself or a store or a park or anything - I had to rely on my parents until I was of driving age. I couldn't ride my bike more than a few blocks, because the sidewalks in the immediate development ended and I wasn't allowed to ride on the sidewalk-less roads that lead out to the big mall-filled area. My parents barely knew the neighbor's names, and it was terribly lonely. I couldn't wait to get out, and as an adult, I've lived by a basic rule: never live anywhere in which you would have to drive to get a gallon of milk.

That hasn't just meant living in the city, though. I've lived in two small towns as well and been happy. I needed a car in those places, but I didn't need one every day. Also, before we moved to the most soulless of suburbs, my family lived in an older suburb where there were some small stores within walking distance, kids walked to school and to the park, and the neighbors all knew each other. It was a nice place and I think my parents were pretty happy there. But they wanted a bigger house and a more prestigious address, and they (and their children) paid for it in loneliness and isolation.

I don't have advice for the letter-writer - I can't really imagine having all that money or making a decision about where to live without considering how the neighborhood feels. But I will say, just from my own experience, a good neighborhood - one with sidewalks, some small stores, a degree of walkability, an active community - is good for both parents and kids.