Letters to the Editor
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Do you ever want kids?
Maybe the LW just needs to decide what kind of lifestyle he wants. There is nothing inherently wrong in living in either the suburbs or the city. I grew up in a nice house in the 'burbs and drove everywhere. In many ways, I hated it. At university, I moved to a big city on the otherside of the world. I loved it. I still love it, but have begun to come full circle into appreciating the reasons my parents lived in, and raised us kids in the suburbs.
In the next few years I'm plan on starting a family of my own. Living in my tiny delapidated 2 bdr flat (even if it is next to a park) isnt going to cut it when it comes to having kids. Sorry. I desire more space. I could never afford that space in the city I live in. So, its either kids & da burbs, or sex in the city singleton. I think its very hard to have it both ways.
It seems like Carey assumes that we all live in Cali and options like San Fran are just around the corner. It just isn't so.
I grew up in CT, and I don't care how much you love biking and walking places (and I do!) you aren't biking anywhere in 10 degrees with a foot of snow on the ground. Earth to California -- it SNOWS in half the country. So, stick that in your walking trails. Another note to the Cali "new urban" elite -- you're living your life on borrowed water. So enjoy the uptopia while it lasts.
I don't think there is any easy answer for the LW. But in some sense, I think he needs to give a long hard look at what he wants out of life. You can't have everything. If you move out of the big house, it means when you have kids you won't have a backyard. Maybe you can only afford a 2bdr place, so don't plan on having more than 1 kid. You'll be extra tied to your job, because you've specifically moved to be close to work, so don't lose it!
Maybe its not about the house at all, but about "growing up" and having to make adult choices instead of drifting through university. Sometimes decisions are tough and involve crazy sums of money. You'll just have to decide what you want and do it! But do realise there is no perfect answer, and there will always be something about your situation that is imperfect.