Letters to the Editor
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Well, Gee Whiz!
Golly. Wow. Dang it anyway! Oooooooh, icky, icky, pooh-pooh.
How about you describe yourself the way you want, and let other people describe themselves the way THEY want no matter how ignorant it looks or sounds to you? I mean, we all can't be well-rounded, highly educated, hobby-toting, membership holding, class elitists, now can we?
Yes, pity that woman who is so stunted that she is just "a mom," but, hey don't put her down. That's what caused the last civil war between women in this country, bitch, and we're not going back there no matter how "icky" you think it is. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Like your Mom probably told you - or then again, maybe not - if you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all.
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definition of a "cool" parent
I've actually read through pretty much every letter here, and I'm kind of fascinated at all the violently defensive responses (especially the "martyrs" who feel abandoned by feminism...uh???).
My parents are cool parents, and I personally can't think of any friends and family who AREN'T cool. When I say, "cool," I mean they are devoted parents who also respect that there's a world outside that of their kids.
The LW's revulsion to the term is probably indicative of how such mothers (and fathers) conduct themselves, period. Those who do the *shrug, giggly, MOM* response tend to be the ones who leave a big-ass stroller in the first floor of the building without even asking the neighbors. They are the ones who bring the SUV stroller onto the subway (as opposed to the svelte, collapsible ones), and want you to tone down your language if they bring their kids into a bar. I have female parent friends who, GASP, love their children but can't be around the devils for the whole day and also find their career rewarding. It's shocking, I know.
Truly cool parents also realize that it's important to give their children exposure to adults without children, since there are certain bonds that disappear when an adult becomes a parent, and often it's easier for a kid to relate in certain ways to someone who has never played this role. People who primarily ID themselves as MOM or DAD often scoff at this idea, as I've definitely seen here.
Yeah, there are more uncool than cool parents, but then again it's about quality, not quantity. :)
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Agree with Deering
You know, I thought I'd put that up front.
And shame on Cary for not lecturing the men on saying, when asked who THEY are "I'm a husband."
And to the previous poster who spurned the offers of friend to come out to a party -- hey, It's called a babysitter! You deserve a night out every once and while with adults. Every child care expert would tell you that - and oh my god, you should be grateful that your single or childless friends still invite you instead of getting self-righteous about how your life is so much more important than what these childless people do. You can't imagine how your greater than thou attitude is insulting. Hell, even at your most selfish, at the very least, how do you think people meet and couple to have kids? Adult get-togethers make the world go round.
Please.
The ick factor goes up when I hear married couples refer to themselves as Mommy and Daddy. Literally calling themselves that instead of their names.
The ick factor goes out the door and around the world when I see mothers breast feeding three year olds and children sleeping with their parents.
Listen, having kids is not an excuse, a barrier to the human problem of defining yourself. It can be a great lagoon to escape adult pressures. After all, you are bigger and smarter than your kids, and avoiding other adults and peers may be safer to you. Plenty of mothers, and it goes without saying, fathers, have a life bigger than their children all through history, from Abigal Adams to Meg Whitman, who ran ebay.
As Dr. Phil would say (and oh, my god, I'm referring to Dr. Phil), it is wrong to assign jobs to a kid. It is wrong to assign the job to a child to define you and be your everything.