Letters to the Editor
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I'm a mother
I used to be a Financial Controller. I was a consultant. But by the time my child was one, those roles no longer defined what I do. They defined my past and most people are interested in the present, not the past when they meet you.
I have hobbies, but in the craziness of taking care of a baby, none of my hobbies was worth being elevated to the status of defining me. I gardened before I had kids. I still garden. I have more time to garden now, but I didn't give up my career to be a gardener. So, my hobbies don't define me.
The choices I've made in my life (like not working) are defined by my role as a mother.
In addition, if you do stay at home with your kids, you will find that your social life becomes very centered on other (mostly) mothers with kids. So, you will meet people in the role of mother and your social identity will become part of your child's. In your professional career, you probably associate your collegues with their function or company. If you walk into a business meeting, you want to know who the other attendees are: their company and role. Well, in a baby group, what you need to know is whom the woman is the mother of, even if your friendship is based two adults finding things in common not two babies being friends.
So, over time, many women find their identity becomes wound up in the role of mother. That doesn't mean you can't do other things, have other interests. And by all means, talk about them.
But please be aware that you won't make many friends saying, 'I'm not *just* a mother.' None of the rest of us are *Just* mothers and we'd resent your implication that we are.