Letters to the Editor
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Thanks.
I'm a 1L at a T14 Law School whose grades for first semester included a C+.
I was completely freaked out.
Now I feel better, though I'm still going to study harder.
Thanks, everyone. You didn't even know I existed and you helped.
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C plus?
As badly as I hate the person, I would like to point out that a c student is the current resident of the White House. AND he bragged about that in a commencement speech just last year. So, chin up and good luck and quit torturing yourself with worse case scenarios. You have enough education right now to get a job in almost any government agency, all of whom are frantically looking for employees. You will be in debt forever but that would most likely be the case if you had never even gone to a community college. You are strong already.
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not just passing the bar
I think there are things going on here other than feeling like an imposter and passing the bar. This statement stood out:
"I have a high verbal IQ and a low performance (or mathematic) IQ. That means I have a learning disability."
Is that really true? Most people I know do better with 'verbal' than 'math' on standardized tests, and were never considered to have a learning disability.
The LW's tendency to make sweeping statements that are tinged with anger and self-pity (the slams against the church, the 'artificial authority figures') make it sound like he has some more growing up to do -- or, as cary suggested, cognitive therapy.
As is, he might not have the 'emotional intelligence' necessary to survive in the legal profession or the social skills needed for any job requiring close contact with other people.
If he can get a handle on those issues I'm sure he'll be fine, no matter what his grades are.
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Didn't read the letter....
Didn't read the response.... Barely skimmed the preceding letters.... Let me cut right to the chase: Every student in every post-graduate program feels like an impostor.
Read that again really slowly.
"Every student in every post-graduate program feels like an impostor."
Sign Me,
Ph.D., University of Connecticut, 1997
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Thanks Cary
Your contrast between imposter and outsider really gave me some perspective today.
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Dear Lowering the Bar
I say this nicely: don't be an idiot. First of all, they accepted you into law school, so they felt you had the necessary background to enter their school. Second, at one point or another most if not all law students (as I once was) feel like impostors, fakes, frauds. Third, many law students do not pass the bar the first time. They might need to take it two or three times. So what? You do what you have to do. It took my wife 3 times to pass the NY State Bar, and now she is one of the best litigators I have ever met.
You'll find that there are brilliant lawyers and stupid lawyers, menschs and schmucks. You'll also find that many a lawyer, whether in a firm or elsewhere, still finds himself or herself thinking, "I'm a fraud!"
In other words, do yourself a tremendous favor and stop worrying. Study hard, pass that damn bar exam no matter how many times you need to take it, and move on. You'll be fine.
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LW's greatest asset
Cary is right to point out that the LW may benefit from exploring his perceptions of being an "impostor" with a therapist. That said, it's important for the LW to realize that he has a great, valuable strength demonstrated by what he has already done.
The LW has accomplished a great deal. He has overcome a learning disability, flourished in undergraduate school, and, yes, succeeded in a competitive law school environment. He has worked very, very hard to do so. This is a quality that law firms and companies do seek out. In fact, some very well-known companies would rather hire the person with a lower grade point average, who worked their way through school, and overcame economic and other challenges, than the person who made Dean's List and graduated with academic honors. They see these people as hard workers, who understand how to get things done, do not have an overly academic approach, and do not have a sense of entitlement that comes from "easy" success.
I wish the LW good luck. Rather than being an impostor, he is extremely authentic in his accomplishments.
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law school will do that to you
Law School will wreck your self-esteem and self worth. Studying for the bar exam will be much worse for your psyche, but only if you do it right (make sure you sign up for a reputable commercial bar course that costs a couple grand and gives you a study schedule for 2-3 months before taking your state's exam). During bar review, you will certainly feel you have crossed the line from neurotic to psychotic.
But you are tenacious & hard working and will pass the exam, don't worry.
Your tenacity will help you get the law job you need to repay your sizable student loans.
Then you will really feel trapped and helpless. Because your first job as a rookie lawyer is sure to make you feel awful and incompetent.
But give it 3-5 years and you will start to hit your professional stride. It is a long process, but one day you will hsve the professional satisfaction you are seeking.
You're not alone in your feelings.
Hang in there, and remember your tenacity.
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Buck Up
My story is not exactly similar, but similar enough. I was a total high school slacker. I drifted through several universities as an undergraduate and almost certainly would have flunked out of one had I not withdrawn. Like you, I wanted to be a writer. I struggled with anxiety and depression then and continue to do so now. I decided to go to law school for many of the same reasons you cited, but also because I just sort of felt drawn to it. Despite the fact that my undergraduate academic record relegated me to a third tier law school, everyone there seemed far brighter than me. Even though I worked as hard as I could, I was so certain of my own failure that I was starting to look for non-legal jobs before the first semester was over. Hard work pays. I graduated in the top 5% of my class and probably could have finished first had I not been somewhat distracted by the birth of my first child. My success in school coupled with some connections allowed me to summer at big firms. Wow, was I out of place there. Not only were my fellow summer associates attending law schools that would have laughed at me had I the audacity to apply, they had almost unbelievably outstanding pre-law school resumes. Those resumes looked doubly impressive compared to my pre-law school job in a liquor store. I was the guy that showed up early, stayed late, and worked hard all day. I got a job. Even as an attorney at a big firm, I still felt that my peers were somehow more qualified. I worked harder. I've gone further than I ever thought possible. All of this is to say that you can pass that bar. I'm not going to blow some sort of smoke about how if you believe in yourself you can do anything. You probably won't believe in yourself by the time you take that test. You may not ever believe fully in yourself, I know I don't. Confidence and self-esteem be damned. Work hard, that will take care of the rest. The Real Estate portion of the multi-state really sucks. Try to make up for it in Con law and Criminal.