Letters to the Editor
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I hear Societe Generale has an opening for a trader...
Seriously, if you are going to steal, steal billions not twenties. At least you'll be a folk hero.
If you are going to steal, at least invest it conservatively and not in derivatives or subprime mortgages. The boomers are stealing your social security taxes before your eyes and you'll need something for retirement.
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Anyone else notice the similarity between today's letter and yesterday?
Both people sound young and both want to cheat - by stealing money or by breaking a promise of fidelity. Both have excuses about their childhood from a poor family or as an ugly duckling to justify. Both are consciously harming a person (boss, fiance) they profess to care about.
This is always my retort when people say it's not human nature to be monogamous. Sure, that's true - it's also not human nature not to take what we want even if it's not ours or not to injure someone who angers us (that flash of internal rage is an indication that we are both capable and desirous of harming another person in the heat of the moment).
Yet many people can get through life just fine without cheating on a spouse, stealing, or murdering. It's called morals and self-control.
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@cheesesteak
"Both people sound young and both want to cheat"
I agree. Young people should look to the wonderful example of their parent's generation. They should study BIl Clinton's biography for tips on fidelity and honesty in marriage. With wages stagnant for decades, they should emulate those older CEOs who are still finding ways to make inspiring amounts of profit.
Yes, the morals of younger people are highly questionable because they guiltily sneak a twenty from the till or admit to desires outside of marriage and worry that they might cheat.
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Keep the Real Costs in Mind
You need to quit this job ASAP to end the temptation. Things may be tight for a little while as you look for something else, but a few months eating beans is nothing compared to a legal prosecution.
You also need to talk to a counselor. If you are a full-time student, you probably have access to a counseling center on campus for little or no cost. Believe me, you'll never have such good benefits as you do now as a college student. Take advantage of them.
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Compassionate About Compulsions
I’m not an expert in this area, but, like most people, I know a thing or two. While I haven’t read all the letters responding to LW, the majority of the ones I’ve read addressed the legal and moral issues (all legitimate, of course). But very few addressed the psychological issues (as Cary himself has done).
I don’t think that pointing out moral and legal consequences is sufficient toward resolving compulsive behavior. There are indeed underlying issues here, and they need to be addressed with a competent professional. I’m not speaking here of the rationalizations of dysfunctional family and so on, which a great many of us deal with as a matter of course. But the LW does acknowledge that there is a compulsive pattern here, and it needs to be dealt with.
It probably does help to, at first, say “Stop!” in order to curtail the thefts immediately, but then to also say, “Get some help—NOW!” If the underlying issues can be dealt with successfully, then the legal and moral consequences can be addressed in tandem with them.
That said, I do agree that the LW should quit this job (he can give any reason) before he’s inevitably caught and then seek help before taking another. I also feel compassion for the business owner—twenty dollars may not seem like a lot, but it buys quite a bit of ballpoint pens, paper clips, and the like. No joke—offices need supplies to run on, they need to account for what they purchase, and they need to pay people! I certainly wouldn’t want my own pay to be decreased by twenty dollars.
I hope the LW seeks help for this problem and also comes to realize that there’s a great deal of relief, satisfaction, and freedom to be gained from being an honest and trustworthy person, and from being released from the prison of a compulsion that can only eventually lead to ruin.
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Prosecutor says don't confess
I am a prosecutor, and have prosecuted many employee theft cases. Several involve the thief going to the employer, confessing and saying they'll pay the money back. Often they even sign a letter promising to pay it back and saying they are sorry. I know of these cases only because the employer then turns the thief over to the police, and I prosecute the thief for theft, a Felony in my jurisdiction. Thief goes to jail (good luck asking your professors to let you take your exams late because you were in jail. maybe your school will even refuse to let a convicted felon return?). Oh, and the thief gets fired too. Every time.
I don't like thieves. But I have to say Cary's advice will not help you much. You are lucky to not have been caught yet. Quit your job now, don't steal, and get some counselling to help you stop stealing. If you don't, even if you get away with it on this job, one day you will be in an office at wal-mart crying and telling the loss prevention officer you've never shoplifted anything before, it was a mistake, wah wah wah. Compulsive theft will get you caught - at this job, your next, or when you shoplift something. It is stupid, possibly "insane" behavior, and you should do everything you can to stop. Confessing probably won't stop your compulsion though, so just get out of the situation where you have such an easy opportunity to steal and get some help. Your college will have a counsellor you can talk to, confidentially.
Good luck, and if you can't stop, I'll be waiting.
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@ the rogue trader
"I hear Societe Generale has an opening for a trader...
Seriously, if you are going to steal, steal billions not twenties. At least you'll be a folk hero."-anon
Haha! I was thinking this same thing! That guy stole 7 Billion.
Billion. What the bleep is a Billion and was SG's system of checks and balances on sabbatical? Now that is a compulsion... or is there another word? So LW, he "moved" maybe 500,000 daily instead of 20 bucks. I say the 20's will haunt you as much, sans notoriety, unless you quit.