Letters to the Editor
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The LW Obviously Thinks Her Employer is a Sucker for Trusting Her
How fucked up is that? She says in the beginning of her letter that she was trusted because she did not have tatoos, an obvious jab at her employer's judgement. She also seems annoyed that the employer won't save her from herself by having better bookkeeping. And then to top it all off, she gets stunningly glib and blames her thefts on a dysfunctional family.
So let me ask the LW a question. Is your employer supposed to take care of you because your family didn't? Does your employer know this is part of the deal? You say she pays you a good wage, but you obviously have contempt for her anyway. Why?
The LW could, and probably should, quit the job before she ups the ante and makes her thefts undeniable, but what about the next job? Or the next? Or the next? I would say, LW, that you need to get a job with a company that WILL treat you like a potential thief, with all sorts of controls and double-checking. State and federal jobs are like that. Will you then steal from co-workers? By the way, theft of any amount will get you fired from a State job in my corner of the world so fast people barely feel their ass hitting the pavement. And getting fired from a State job is a real resume killer.
I know of many employers who deliberately leave minor supplies and cash around for losers like her to steal so they won't go after the big stuff. Not all employers are totally stupid. I worked for one employer who kept the supply room open 24/7 and the employees used as their own personal office supply center. The employers knew that, but it seemed to keep the thieves from stealing the artwork, and trying to crack the safes, which would have yielded them thousands of dollars. Actually, one employee did try to go for the gold and he was prosecuted so vigorously that he had to leave town after he served his 1-5 yrs. Apparently his former employers spread his name all over town, and they were in a position to do it.
So, LW keep this in mind. If your employer catches you, she may just fire you, she may just strike a deal for restitution, or she could make it her goal in life to make sure you never work in your chosen field or town again. Try to make sure you know which card she might play and then reread Cary's advice. This shit's going to have to stop because I don't think you have the smarts or the heart to keep from getting caught.
I thought the stealing bartender story was kinda funny because it is somewhat true except for one twist. Steal tips from your co-workers and you might get your ass kicked. Saw it happen alot when I worked in bars as a student.
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Overages are Bad Advice
To those who suggested that the LW pay back more than he or she took, you really don’t understand a checks and balance system because an overage is also a sign of theft and of bad bookkeeping, so this could also raise alarms if the employer does implement a better accounting system. When I worked retail the amount was a plus of minus on terminals meaning if anyone was five over or five short, this meant someone had to come and check out the terminal. If the LW pays far too much back, this would also be a bad thing. Also in retail, we had a manager who went back and forth covering up her thefts via figuring out how to set the scan gun for transfers and obliterating transfers into our store and eventually she did get caught via overages not shortages because items were not being properly scanned in, accounted for, so an overage is just as bad as a shortage. As to all who say quit immediately, even if her employer has lax accounting standards she may still count the safe and do inventory on items if an employee quits and might still try to prosecute the exiting employee. This is in answer to the below:
. Pay back more than you took and then quit.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008 07:08 PM
--Anonymous
And the next day at work, quietly, put the money back in the safe (calculate approximately how much you owe, and multiply by two), and quit your job
-- 565656565656
quit your job immediately.
-- ac_in_dc
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Been There, done That
Having been a Heroin addict, I stole things to maintain my habit when I had to. I was such a coward that I stole from My mother, my deceased father's enagagement ring, and hocked it, (telling myself I'd get it out later, so I "wasn't really stealing"). of course I defaulted on the payments and the ring was lost. I see my mother all the time, and that is the poison I injected into her loving heart through my youth and stupidity. Obviously growing up without a dad, my family was a bit dysfunctional too. And this country is great at telling us we are all victims, giving us excuses to fail at life instead of empowering us to find the strength within to do what we know is right. It took me three times cold turkey and eight years on the couch to get clean and turn my life around.
I now own my own construction company and often hire ex cons and ex junkies, always giving them enough rope to hang themselves to see whether or not their words of seeking change are true. About 15% stay on the crew for a lifetime job. Most go on with stunted self-esteem and lack of willpower and even less self awareness. Finding excuses is a much easier job than finding themselves.
A year ago, after dropping off the monthly stipend I am now able to afford to give my Mother in return for all her hard work and worry putting up with me, I was walking down a Manhattan street and saw a ring I recognized in the window. YEP!, you guessed it. T'was her engagement ring. I went into the jewler to explain my story and even proved it was the same by knowing the inscription still inside of it. He sold it to me for his cost, (4-5 times what I'd hocked it for all those years ago.) and I was able to return it to my mother on the anniversary of my father's death last year. It was almost "a sign from above" to me commenting on the worthwhileness of the work I'd done to change my life.
YOU! kiddo, have some similar work to do. While you don't sound like a violent felon, this type of behavior can ruin your life in just as bad, if not worse ways, by hurting those who love you or seek to help you. I've played the blame game too. But the truth is that if you are smart enough to understand there is a reason for your doing wrong, you are old enough to do the work you need to do to correct the behavior. It will be work. And it very well may be tied in with the family issues you say. But if you have even the slightest grasp of why you are doing what you are, you have NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF if you get caught.
Only you know if you really want or are prepared to do the work you need to do to change your behavior will you change. But there are many therapists with sliding scales. I highly suggest you seek one out. I WOULD NOT worry about returning the money for now. I'd fucking STOP stealing. And if you cannot stop, I'd quit the job. But each day you go to work and do NOT steal is one step closer to change and the understanding of "the positive life forces of doing WITHOUT" like Cary mentions. You will enjoy the peace ten times more than the quick cheap thrill that the theft provides. Is your reputation and career worth the piddling few hundred or thousand dollars you have stolen? If you think it out and realize your earnings potential with a good rep Vs. one with a bad reputation, that alone should be a powerful force to help you stop. Is this the type of world you want to live in? A world where someone you put your trust in will steal your money or belongings just because they can? I bet you'd feel raped and invaded if someone stole your damn I-pod while you were eating lunch. Savor what that would feel like. REALLY try to imagine what it feels like. Thats how this woman, not to mention your MOM, would feel if you ever got caught.
I had no male role model to follow. I had to figure out myself what it meant to "be a man" as well as what type of man I wanted to be. What type of man do you want to be? I bet that any man you want to emulate, that you picture yourself becoming does not evince this type of behavior. It IS possible for you to be that man. Let no one dissuade you from becoming this man, especially yourself.
There's a very simple phrase,..."GROW UP!". The path to being a possibly poor, but good person has ever so many more gifts along the trail than a wealthy, or probably poorer, thief. If you got to feel that good about yourself just for one day, or an hour, you would never steal again. Instead of searching for excuses,...search for the man you'd truly like to be. Be a hero, an example,...for yourself.