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btw, it might well be depression or a marriage on the rocks
that (understandably) makes you feel hostile toward creating a pleasant home. It could be a cry for help, even. But don't feel you have to fix your other problems before you get your house under control. Just get the house under control. The other problems will still be there. And don't let hubby off the hook, either. Maybe you need to tell him that, it's true, I can't bring myself to clean. Maybe it's because I resent the fact that you won't take any responsibility for the situation. But be that as it may, I've hired this cleaning lady/service. This doesn't make it my personal responsibility. But we have a problem and this is how I am solving it.