Letters to the Editor
-
@ anonymous businesshead
You're dead on. If she's giving flirt instead of a truly good discount, LW's husband is an idiot. If he's giving flirt to get a super deep discount with her on the basis of some kind of relationship, that crap will stop the first time someone does an analysis of profit by salesperson.
LOL about the evil moneychangers POV :)
-
Trolling MILF
Cary - you got it wrong sir. That is no MILF. That is a COUGAR. Best to keep up on these things son, people are depending on you.
PS send her my way.
-
Whats a MILF?
Sorry, but I really don't know....
-
Cary....
...is this a lesbian relationship? I reread the letter and I'm not sure this is a guy we're talking about...
-
This happened to me....
Except it wasn't an older woman, it was one of my ex-husband's students.
Turns out he was having an affair with her, and she got tired of waiting for him to leave his wife (me) & our kids. Which apparently he didn't have any intention of doing--he was just having a little fun on the side.
By openly flirting with him and challenging me she was trying to help things along.
And yup, it worked! Even though ex-hub claimed he didn't invite her behavior, that she was a psycho chick who had the wrong idea about him etc, I still got suspicious, I caught them together, and I tossed out his cheating ass.
So... dear LW, I agree with Cary & some others who've posted here:
Stop being distracted by your hatred of this other woman and take a hard look at your partner's actual behavior and how it lines up (or not) with the way he says he acts.
Your MILF wouldn't act this way if he didn't invite it.
-
Pass it on
This woman is a stalker. Subtle clues of disinterest are fuel to the fire for her. Keep a record of every phone call/email/sighting in a parking lot/whatever. It's entirely likely this person, unable to seduce your partner, will focus on YOU as the impediment to her dreams.Block her emails and phone calls.Keep a log of suspicious interactions. such as "accidentaly" bumping into her at the store/beauty shop/gas station. Your partner should man up and tell her plainly to bug off. He should also contact her company and ask for another rep for his account. It was most likely flattering to him at first, but a line has been crossed. He could ask his supervisor to deal with the problem also. Sexual innuendos are bad business for everyone and leaves his company open to a world of problems. Good luck and be proactive about this soon!
-
We don't know enough about the (I find the acronym offensive actually) to draw these conclusions
Cary's right, the LW is way insecure, and it's the guy's job to handle it. All we have is the LW's side of the story, and the other woman's behavior is slightly annoying, but, come on, does not come anywhere near stalking behavior. Keep in mind that the guy is not writing the letter, the LW is. The LW's partner is probably feeling good about being pursued. He's also probably getting off on telling the LW about it to make her feel insecure.
I know that it really bothers me personally when a man talks badly about a woman to another woman. Especially a woman that he clearly flirted with at another time. If a guy tells you his ex-girlfriend was a psycho, or the MILF at work is after him, you can be sure that he has no class and/or respect for women. Someday you will likely find yourself talked about this way, LW.
FYI - the 'partner' is most likely a guy. LW is using the term because they are unmarried and yet in a long-term relationship. To those who don't understand the MILF acronym - google or urbandictionary always has the answer for you folks - we have machines to answer simple factual questions now.
-
Tangential: MILFs versus cougars
MILF: Mother I'd Like to F*ck -- of any age, although most likely a hot young thing
Cougar: older woman who stalks *much* younger men
They are not interchangeable terms, although a person could certainly be both at the same time.
I don't see why MILF is especially offensive, I find it kind of funny myself. Frankly, if I ever do become an M, I certainly hope that people would still L to F me. What was that SNL "MomJean" tagline again: "Because you're not a woman anymore, you're a MOM!"
I do worry about becoming a cougar, but I'm only 34 so I've got some time to go before I can't pursue the 27 year olds without raising eyebrows.
-
The partner is a dude
FYI - the 'partner' is most likely a guy.
Not sure where all the confusion lies: she referred to her partner using "him", "he", "his", and "guy" six times in the letter.
-
Even if he let her in, it's okay for both to show her the door.
I still think there's room for telling her to back off.
Yes the boyfriend is the one who didn't draw boundaries and even invited the attention, so he's the one who needs to reinforce them. If he's finding this difficult it's because allowing someone to cross the line is a passive act, but getting them to back off requires direct confrontation. When you're passively letting someone come on to you, everyone can pretend nothings going on - when you have to actively reject them, it then becomes hard to tell the stalker to stop what hasn't been acknowledged.
So she may be baiting the girlfriend to come between them and now refusing to get the message until it is explicit. In the former case, it is proper for the letter writer to let her know she isn't welcome, if he's made aware of the problem and will back her up. Then she isn't in the position of wronged woman, but part of a couple ditching an unwanted intruder.
If the professional relationship is a concern there are professional, and if necessary, legal ways to impose limits.
-
email reply option
Simply reply with "Thank you. How did you get my private email address?"
It's a subtle way to call her on the carpet for invading your private life, and should make her uncomfortable. (If she's completely obnoxious or stalkery, it may not, but it's also not giving her anything.) Whatever her answer is, keep your subsequent reply brief such as "I see. Thanks, yourname" You're still nominally polite, but not offering her another inroad to your partner. I agree with Cary and other posters that your partner needs to put his foot down -- firmly.