Letters to the Editor
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It's pretty obvious
Don't be nice to the troll. Be very clear and send her an email, CC-ing your boyfriend: "I was quite shocked to receive an email from you, as I never gave you my private email address. You should know that I am not interested in communicating with you. You've made it very clear that you view me as 'competition.' We are not friends, and I will not pretend to be friendly with you. I am very happy in my relationship, and hope you find someone other than my man to focus on. He is happily taken by me."
These types of broads will only back off when you call them out. Don't take the high road. Tell her off.I've learned the hard way re: this situation. Take it from me -- hit her between the eyes with the truth.
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three-some?
did I say that out loud?
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I think Cary is right...
She does sound totally creep-a-rama, not to mention disrespectful to both of you. I can't believe she emailed you - Ew! I have a hunch your partner would be happy to get rid of her, but it's difficult, especially considering the professional angle. It won't be easy for him, but he's the one that has to do it. If you come out after her with teeth bared, you give her the satisfaction of thinking you feel threatened by her. She'll have made an impact, and that will probably be very satisfying to her. I think you would be better off projecting the image of the queen of the castle who knows you're loved, while you feel a little sympathy for the poor dear, because, after all, he IS a wonderful man, isn't he? You're not specific about what she wrote to you in the email, but if you feel the need to answer, I'd probably say something formal and polite like "thank you so much for your kind words" - not rising to the bait, but not being friendly and inviting either.
A part of me feels like this is playing a mental game, but another part of me knows full well that we get through unknown situations by deciding how our stance is going to be, whether we consciously are aware of it or not. I think this is the stance I'd take.
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Oh, I forgot she got your email dishonestly!
In that case, do crawl all over her for that, but I still say that if you defend your man, that's pretty much saying to her that you AGREE with her that she IS competition.
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pass off
I'm with Cary. My version goes something like...tell your partner that his psycho colleague is pushing your boundaries and ask him what he plans to do about it. To engage her, in my opinion, only serves to create drama. We don't need more drama in the world.
Good luck with that.
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I'd opt for passive resistance here
Delete the email. Do not respond in any way other than to your partner.
What this MILF wants is a response, good, bad, or otherwise. Refusing to give one is the most infuriating thing you can do. Think Ghandi. Do not participate. As I've learned in parenting classes, the kid wants to play tug-of-war, and the hardest thing to do is NOT pick up the rope. Do not join the argument. Delete the email. Put her address in your spam filter. Any future emails go right where they belong, with all the ads for pen1s enhancement and v1agra. Do not read them.
The conversation you have with your significant other, by the way, is a whole 'nother thing. Make your position clear. This person has crossed a lot of personal and professional boundaries with your SO. It's up to him to make it clear where those boundaries are, not you.
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I'm totally dense here
What's an MILF? I've tried to come up with something that makes sense and can't.
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Urban dictionary to the rescue
Got it now. I'm getting old. . .
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MILF
Mother I would Like to F**K.
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Who's on top?
I think the handling of the MILF (by the way, is that just you being mean about her being older than you?), has to depend on your man's professional relationship with her. What's the power dynamic? Who's on top, as it were? If he's more beholden to her, such as she's offering goods and services at the best price or best quality he can get, or she provides him work projects and assignments, he needs to nicely let her know he's unavailable, like, say, letting her know your wedding date. :) If he's in the power seat anyway, and she's as obnoxious as you're painting her, he can get a little caustic about it. Or if he's got a certain type of sense of humor, he can probably good-naturedly jolly her off this track.
I do think it's up to your man to handle this, though. Your getting involved in setting her straight is going to be just weird for him and frankly more than a bit emasculating.
One thing to keep in mind, though, is that her entire shtick could just be that, shtick. She may approach all the males in her business life like that, in the belief that it makes THEM feel all manly and good about working with her. It's quite possible that she has no real interest, and that reference to you as "competition" is just part of her empty flattery of your partner.
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I dunno
"Competition" AHHHHHHHHH! In this case it resounds like those methods very young girls use to express that men are the highest ground that can be reached. Can you hear it? Not a pleasant sound, very unattractive and petty. You can only control you. Secure women don't feel threatened and attack other women, let your partner deal with that. You are a strong woman, right?
To bring in MILF and terms like that are saying that usually, if a woman becomes a Mom she loses her attractiveness. And you know what, that is just not true. She may be a pain in the a** and socially imperceptive, but she just spinning wheels. Besides, you may have made at least a portion of this more truth in your head than it is in reality. Women can be friendly and not want sex. I can attest to that too.
So, don't get all hyped. Cary was not only very funny with his fun romp in word rearrangement, he's also right on.
Be a Girrrrrl and be your cool self, not a girl ( oh please leave my man alone, i am so threatened by you! ) Oh, he is kinda cute, wanna wrestle me for him? How about a boxing championship, best woman wins? To me, women are potential friends or fun or even 'just odd', but never competition. It's the only way to go. Next time she contacts, don't respond and next time you see her smile and lay the sweet charm too. You be bigger than she.
Now go give your partner a long kiss and have some fun.