Letters to the Editor
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More joy in our lives
I agree, Cary, we do need more joy in our lives!
Isn't it ridiculous that so many Americans thing politicians are out to lunch if they care about education, employment, or health care?
Aren't these things all central to our lives?
I think that the U.S. as a whole needs to start paying attention to things that are important every day of our lives, not always focusing on the red herring of "fighting terrorism" etc. The political hogwash we are fed as a way to distract us from things that really matter to all of is a huge problem and more Americans need to start realizing that.
(Don't ask me how we'll acheive this.)
I think this is why we are so fixated on buying things, and why so many people are so zealously, irrationally into religion. We are depressed! There is no meaning to life. It's all about working until you die, trying to find some way to pay for your kids' education, and hoping you're not poverty stricken when you're old.
What if we had a system of education where you could go to college is you ahd the grades for it? That's how it is in Colombia. They ahve lots of problems there, but they manage it. We could do this- we could give every American a college education with all the money we are throwing away in Iraq.
We could also get together and make sure everybody has health care coverage. We make sure all the roads are paved, and everyone has a police department and every town has a library- we could do this too.
As far as employment goes, I think we need to stop letting our companies outsource their jobs. yes, I feel bad for the people who won't get the jobs in India or Malaysia or Mexico, but maybe there are other ways to help them. And how about demanding more paid time off? We have been letting the CEOs and their political cronies run the show for far too long now.
In France they work far fewer hours than us, yet their productivity is higher! They also get a lot more vacation time, and they have very good universal health care. With an attituce adjustment we could acheive the same thing!
I think what it all comes down to is that we need to put some things ahead of just making money. "making a profit" is what drives companies to do anything, anything at all to make more money. Who cares if their employees lead lousy lives or lose their jobs? As long as they make even more profit! And no profit is ever enough. It's an addiction. Unfortunately it's a socially acceptable one. We need to get over the idea that somehow there are different morals standards for people when they are at work than when they are not at work. Why is it okay to make business decisions to do immoral, destuctive things (i.e. strip mining) at work and then somehow call yourself a good person just because you don't hurt people you know?
We talk about 'family values" and "what matters most" all the time-how about putting that into action?
Joie de vivre can't exist if you don't value quality of life as opposed to "standard of living".
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More joy in life
Oops- sorry about all the typos!
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Why older people are happier
To Anonymous who posited the question, "Why are people in their 70s and 80s happier than those in their 40s and 50s?" I suggest it's because they're retired.
To paraphrase Joseph Heller, the work we do isn't of any consequence to anyone, but it's important that we do a great deal of it.
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error
I meant "posed the question." It's happy hour in the office...
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@deliciousminds
Actually, I should have clarified that the happier older people I've come across are NOT retired! I suppose a lot of the pressure is off them, though, in terms of mortgages and child-rearing. Still, I have the strangest sense that it is not outer circumstances but inner strengths at work.
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what about his wife?
Wow, all those letters (not all of them a response to the LW) and I only saw ONE that thought about the poor man's wife. Cary's answer was good but it ignored one thing: While he's at the gym, sleeping a lot, making himself nice lunches, etc. she's doing EVERYTHING. She probably works, takes care of the kids, cleans the house, cooks, shops, pays the bills, saves for the future and folds his underwear. Maybe if he started pulling his own weight he wouldn't have time to be depressed.
Speaking from experience.
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You are not alone!
You are not alone. Many others of us have similar feelings. See, e.g., Saul Bellow's great novel, "Henderson the Rain King." It does not help to beat up on oneself. Cary's advice is sound. Thyroid, testosterone, etc. should be checked. For me this had an unexpected benefit: I learned my testosterone level was at the high end of normal. I was glad to know that. We do spend too much time trudging along like good soldiers without the chance to explore and enjoy new options, which was at least possible in our youth. We often seem locked in place by the need to comply, work hard and not run amock. A creative outlet that you really enjoy and take pride in is very wothwhile and can help a lot. We spend much more effort "taking" than "making" in this society. Making something that endures is very satisfying. Some form of exercise is important. And spontaneity where possible does bring fun and excitement (and maybe romance) back into life. Good luck.
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Psychological Malaise
For the record (I posted earlier), I exercise daily, eat well, and have recently cut out sugar and caffeine, all of which helps me feel better physically, but, for me, doesn't help a whole lot with psychological malaise. In fact, it hasn't even helped much with improving my insomnia.
Creative and social outlets are key, and those require time and community, two things that are in short supply. As other posters have mentioned, we don't get enough vacation time in this country, and after five, ten, or twenty years of increasingly pressurized full-time work with little time off, I think we just run down and burn out.