Letters to the Editor
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Response to Argiri's comments - Freedom of speech and opinion is not the issue
After posting my response to the letter writer and to Cary's response, with which I strongly disagreed, I read some of the other responses and feel compelled to respond to Argiri's comments and some of the other comments, which I find completely ridiculous.
Rejecting someone because he or she makes racist comments is not immature. As an African American and self-identified liberal, let me reassure everyone that liberal/Democrat does not equal non-racist, any more than conservative/Republican equals racist. Racism in our country, particularly that which has been perpetuated against African Americans, has fundamentally shaped and continues to shape our society as a whole, regardless of where one may live.
Agiri's notion of small communities versus large cities and the social relations therein is borderline offensive. That the LW should keep the racist friend as it is just one of the quirks of living in a smaller community makes absolutely no sense. Agiri then states that "You don't necessarily have to have a big emotional discussion, just, 'Well, we know we don't think the same on that topic, so let's talk about something else.' " That's an excellent idea -- because race is such a messy, messy topic so let's avoid it entirely. It is not like it is a serious issue or anything! (please note sarcasm)
Some things are just wrong! Believing that Blacks are stupider than Whites is wrong. It is not just a matter of opinion. Just like saying that the Earth is flat - it is just not true. Someone is perfectly free to state that opinion and I would not deny them the right to do so. But they would be wrong! This is not a free speech issue. I am all for keeping company with people who may disagree with you on certain issues and freedom of speech is very important. But some issues that have no foundation whatsoever. And by the way, you don't get points for not being a hypocrite when you are ignorant. Just because other people may hold the same views as the racist friend does not make it any better.
Argiri -- your description of your father's views of blacks being stupid is extremely problematic. Just because your father knows more than 5 black students and was really nice to them does not mean that he has any basis on which to say that blacks are less intelligent than whites. As a graduate student at a predominately white university, I have encountered several white students who perform very poorly despite the assistance I provide them as a teaching assistant. Does this mean that I can make negative assumptions about white people based on this experience so long that I am friendly to them?? You've got to be kidding me!
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Racist as noun versus racist as adjective
An earlier commenter smartly alluded to the distinction between racist as noun and racist as adjective. There is an important difference here. Conceptualizing racist as a noun makes it an identity, similar to saying that someone is sexist. However, racist as an adjective brings to the surface the ways that racism prevades our entire society. It is not that there are some lingering individuals in post-Civil Rights Era America who could be identified as racists. It is that racism is everywhere in our society and it is this pervasiveness that allows individuals like the racist friend to persist. It is just like identifying some individuals as homophobes belies the fact that we all live in a homophobic society.
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the vote
I bet the LW's friend is just *loving* the results from Iowa!
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Black and white
I wish I would have caught this thread earlier. I've read through most of the replies, but not all so my apologies if I am repeating what someone else has already written. Ok, hear goes my two cents.
As counter intuitive (and racist?) as this may sound, my guess is that the LW has had less experience interacting with African Americans, not more, than the racist friend. In an odd way, she's the ignorant one here. She's from a small, predominantly white, liberal community. (It's very easy to be a non racist in a homogenous community where matters of race are all dealt with theoretically.) He's from somewhere different, some place where he's probably had more exposure to living in close quarters with people outside of his race based on the examples he cited for her.
As controversial as this may sound, I have reason to believe that exposure to other races leads to more racism of the sort the LW describes, not less. I've lived in several parts of the country, and I've seen the effects that living in different racial compositions have on people. White people living in the Deep South are not only living with the burden of their cultural and historical baggage; they are also living in areas with the highest concentration of African Americans. Interacting with people from different cultures can be stressful, even if you are open minded, value diversity, are curious, are well enough educated in genetics to know that there is no scientific basis to the notion that there are intellectual differences between blacks and whites.
LW, I know this isn't possible, but I wish you could live in a place like Houston or Atlanta for a year or so before you decide whether or not to shun your friend. You may find out some very unpleasant and distasteful things about yourself (if you are being honest), and it may make you more sympathetic to your friend... in the same way your husband's drinking problem has increased his compassion for others and his acceptance of their shortcomings. I'm not saying your friend's views are correct, or even acceptable. He's wrong, particularly about African Americans being less intelligent than whites, and it is the duty of every American as a citizen of this diverse nation to demand every person be treated with dignity and respect regardless of color, creed, gender, culture, sexual orientation, etc. But I also think it is a lot easier to avoid personal prejudice and the formation of stereotypical thinking about a group when you're not interacting with members of it day in and day out. Every time a black person cuts you off on the freeway, you are tempted to think *they* are rude and aggressive as a whole. Every time you get shoddy service from a black waiter, you are tempted to think *they* are shiftless and lazy, as a group. Every time a black person talks too loudly in public, you are tempted to think there *they* go again, not knowing how to conduct themselves amongst polite society. Every time a black person is unjustly rude to you because you're white (and yes, this will happen at least weekly, if not twice a week, in a place like Atlanta) you will be tempted to think... oh god, *they* just can't get over the past. How can we move forward? Every time you observe a black person greet another black acquaintance more warmly than they greet you, even though you've known the black person longer, you will be tempted to think.. oh, *they* are so clannish. I guess *they* stick together, don't *they*?
You'd be wrong to give in to the temptation to think any of these things, of course. If you reflected on it for a minute or two, you'd find ample examples of where you were mistreated by white people in the exact same manner. You'd recall incidents where white people exhibited traits of laziness and shiftlessness. You'd also find many examples of being treated extremely cordially and decently by black people. But, still, you'd wonder on a much more regular basis if there is some truth to all of the negative stereotypes about blacks if you observed black behavior daily.
But to the immediate question at hand, if I were you, I would ask myself this: is my friend actively harming African Americans? Is he denying them their right to be treated with dignity and respect in any way, no matter how small? If I decided he's not, I'd keep him as a friend without a guilty conscience.