Letters to the Editor
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Your answer reminds me of a Dan Bern song:
The Facist In Me
When I vote, I vote democratic
And sometimes further left like peace and freedom,
Or even libertarian
I’m pro-choice, pro-environment
Against large corporations and the neutron bomb
But when I’m stuck on the freeway
And it's hot and someone cuts me off
I think they oughta fry that son of a bitch
It's the fascist in me
Learn to speak English, get a job, get a life
It's the fascist in me
Get rid of that smell, go back where you came from
It's the fascist in me
You're a burden, you're a drain on the economy
It's the fascist in me
It's so distasteful going to the grocery store
For some Haagen Daaz on a Saturday night
When you have to pass this vermin
I given to seven charities
I’ve played five different benefits
In the past month
My bumper stickers say:
Save the whales, visualize peace, NPR (KPFK)
But when someone's rude in a restaurant
I’d like to make them look at the barrel of a gun
And then we'll see how smug they are
It's the fascist in me
Wish I had the power to seize your house
It's the fascist in me
Wish I had the authority to take your tongue
It's the fascist in me
I’d run you naked through the middle of the town
It's the fascist in me
You'd live in fear knowing every creak of the floorboards,
Knock on the door, or cry in the dark of night, could be your last
Sometimes I just want to take half the world and decree that they all go away
Everyone's stupid and no one has anything very insightful to say
It's the price you have to pay
I’m tired of it today
I’d like another way
It's the fascist in me
Wear some normal clothes, don't have so many children,
Learn to speak English, get a job, get a life
Where'd you get that car?
Which drugs did you sell?
How'd you get that job?
Which quota did you fill?
I’d like plant my fist in your face
Don't talk so loud
Don't walk so slow
If you just disappeared, no one would care
No one would care if you just disappeared
Your mother oughta be down on her knees
Cleaning up my kitchen
It's the fascist in me
It's the fascist in me
It's the fascist in na na na na
It's the fascist in me
Learn to speak English, get a job, get a life
It's the fascist in me
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Do not fight over a theoretical issue...
You guys live, like, in Northern Vermont? And you have, like, zero black people in the whole county? Right?
If a black person ever shows up in your little town, treat him or her well, and observe how your racist pal treats him or her. Judge your pal by that, rather than the theoretical stuff he says now.
In the meantime, if you are true friends, you can discuss the issue, and still be friends, and even come out laughing.
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Keep him as a friend
If you want to just be right, the choice is easy; dump his racist ass. However if you want to move forward the evolution of ideas you would be better off to keep the old man as a friend. It sounds like he has progressed from his fathers attitude toward blacks and that in itself is an impressive feat. Be happy that your new friend is honest with opinions; at least you know where he stands. There are probably a lot of people you know that feel the same as he does but they don't say anything for fear of being dumped as friends.
Try finding more positive examples of black culture and don't fight him when he rolls his eyes at OJ Simpson, Michael Vick or the massacres in Darfur and Kenya (you aren't going to win that one and you’ll just weaken your argument)
And of course if his racism becomes even more annoying you can always kick his wrinkly ass onto the curb.
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No.
I think that Cary has exhibited a bit too much moral relativism. It's usually an asset, but not in this case.
I debate matters of politics with my conservative friends, and we still respect each other. I discuss religion with folks of all denominations and usually walk away from the exchanges with a richer sense of the spiritual world.
Racism, when you scratch beneath the surface, is hatred, pure and simple, and it's important to recognize it as such.
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Agree
Perfect response. Agree to disagree. He may be a racist, but that doesn't mean you should write him off as a human being, unless his racism is so toxic that it intrudes on your sensibilities every occasion that you are together. You don't even have to agree with his views on this matter, but that doesn't mean you can't respect him as a person and understand what has led him to his beliefs. Maybe be honest and say, let's just avoid this topic. We will accept your point of view even though we disagree with it, but you have to accept that we don't feel comfortable with what we perceive as racism.
I have a dear friend who was not fortunate enough to have been raised in New York City, as I was, and she has some racist attitudes, but she's not exactly a member of the Aryan Nation. It's just something that slips out on occasion because we are intimate, and she feels comfortable. I usually steer the conversation away, or I give her my point of view. This is the way she was raised, and I can only try to gently guide her to my understanding of what is correct. I think if not for me, she might not have anyone else in her life who represents a more tolerant viewpoint.
And when I give my point of view, I usually, say, well, that may be your experience, but I have to tell you, in my experience...blah blah blah. Not in an argumentative way, but in a way of sharing experiences.