Letters to the Editor
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Agree
Perfect response. Agree to disagree. He may be a racist, but that doesn't mean you should write him off as a human being, unless his racism is so toxic that it intrudes on your sensibilities every occasion that you are together. You don't even have to agree with his views on this matter, but that doesn't mean you can't respect him as a person and understand what has led him to his beliefs. Maybe be honest and say, let's just avoid this topic. We will accept your point of view even though we disagree with it, but you have to accept that we don't feel comfortable with what we perceive as racism.
I have a dear friend who was not fortunate enough to have been raised in New York City, as I was, and she has some racist attitudes, but she's not exactly a member of the Aryan Nation. It's just something that slips out on occasion because we are intimate, and she feels comfortable. I usually steer the conversation away, or I give her my point of view. This is the way she was raised, and I can only try to gently guide her to my understanding of what is correct. I think if not for me, she might not have anyone else in her life who represents a more tolerant viewpoint.
And when I give my point of view, I usually, say, well, that may be your experience, but I have to tell you, in my experience...blah blah blah. Not in an argumentative way, but in a way of sharing experiences.