Letters to the Editor
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Advice for LW
LW, I've gone through the cheating half of what you're going through right now, so I'll speak to that: What he did does not invalidate the years you had together, the memories you have of your marriage, or the life you thought you were living all that time.
You know whether or not he loved you and the children. It's possible to love someone and to do something incredibly hurtful and stupid anyway. It will be hard and take time, but eventually you will get to a place where you can remember the good times with happiness and they will not be completely overshadowed by what he did.
Also: seek professional help, as others have suggested, if you haven't already. And: I think it's really important to tell other people about this. Not everyone you know, but perhaps your immediate family, if you're close to any of them, your close friends, etc. You may feel that you want to protect him from the judgment of family and friends, but he's gone and you're here. You need their support, and they can only fully support you if they know the range of emotions you are dealing with.
Good luck! You'll get through this.